A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can I give this guy the slip without feeling like a rude b****??He keeps texting me, buying me coffee at work (we work together), trying to make physical contact at work, asking if we can meet up outside work etc BUT he has never actually properly asked me out.I'm getting sick of ignoring him, and I feel like a real cow never replying to his texts and always saying i'm too busy to meet up. I don't want to hurt his feelings either and I also don't want a big scene to go down at work or for people at work to think I'm a b**** for rejecting him, but I don't know how I can get him to stop, when he wont even properly ask me out.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 June 2011):
Yes - tell him. He can't read your mind. If you don't want to be with him, tell him that he's a nice guy but that you think you need space. If you actually like him, tell him you like him. The reason he's continuing like this is because you're not really being clear about what you want. You don't seem to like him enough for him to risk asking you out, but you seem to like him enough that he'll continue to be a friend.
Tell him how you feel one way or another, and then you won't have the problem.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (9 June 2011):
 You tell him that you're flattered by his kindness, but not looking to develop any kind of relationship with him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Tell the dude, he isn't a mind reader.
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A
female
reader, Only_O  +, writes (9 June 2011):
You keep saying he hasnt asked you out "properly". Is this perhaps your subconscious really wanting him to ask you out? People are different and all have varied ways of showing their affection and interest in others.
if you really don't like him at all you should just call him aside - face to face - and tell him that you are grateful for all the gestures as it is always nice to be appreciated but you do not think it appropriate that he continues it. It seems to be leading no where, so why continue the vicious cycle of frustration?
If, on the other hand... You are interested in him but are annoyed by him throwing all the hints and not asking you out properly you can either ask him out (it does indeed happen these days) or you can tell him that at first his gestures were sweet but its been long enough and if he wants to go out with you he should man up and grow a pair.
Either way, being honest is always the best way :)
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