A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hihow can i lose weight of my butt? or build more muscle on it??and how can i tell if my butt is mostly muscle or fat?im skinny (10stone) but i have a huge ass.. i think its genetic cos my dad has a ass (my mum said thats what she was attracted to) and my younger bro has an ass too, but both of thers are not massive like mine thers are firm and shapley, mine isnt its round and saggy... i think... but when i tense it, it is realy realy solid and firm...i eat healthy, proper meals at set times every day, we only have fast food once a week if that. but even on baby photos i can see my ass is huge so i m convinced its genetic and i was born like that... i get my excersise i played football for 8 years and i stopped (dont ask me why -_-) and im biking to work every day and its a good long ride. and my work is manual labour so again im getting a workout...it is killing my confidence i dont like to go out cos of it certain cloths i refuse to wear, not top mention my anxiety and shyness... so what can i do?how do i lose the fat from my butt? or turn it into muscle? if not do that how do i become happy with the way i am?? thanks
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 December 2011):
 What to do? Get used to it, it's your ass after all, it kinda goes with who you are. Don't like it? Tough luck. We aren't all born like super models, however most of us learn with the years that the image we see in the mirror is often not how others view us.
You see your ass as much bigger than your other family members, however I can bet that they are just the same size. I mean have you ever measured??? No? Then you can't say yours is bigger, because you don't have anything to measure by, no photos where you all stand bare assed next to each other or anything to go by. You plain and simple can't say your ass is bigger, because you don't know it is. You just THINK it is, because you are so insecure about it.
Learn to rock what you've got and love what you have. Who cares? So you got a big butt, who cares?? Really? Are you worried you wont catch girls with your ass? Are you worried anyone will laugh at you? Exactly what makes your butt-size a problem? I'm sure it will work just fine, after all it IS genetics, and if your dad managed to find a woman who loves his butt enough to pass it on to her children then so will you.
However posting pictures of your ass to girls on facebook WILL make you appear desperate and insecure, two things known to make women scatter. If YOU love your ass then so will the girls. I'm sure there are many men out there who also envy your behind wishing they had more of their own, plenty of men are flat down there.
Work out if you think it sags, but working it will make it perkier and stand out more, besides I HIGHLY doubt it is saggy. Young mens butts generally does not sag, they have less fat on their asses than women do, so women are the ones known to sag, not men.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi thanks for your reply, i am 5 foot 7, i suppose in a way i am toned but not muscley... if that makes sense skinny muscley.. .cant explain it lol i defo dont need to loose weight in general when i tense my ass it is from what i can feel (dont tak my word for it) it is round and sollid but when i dont tense it kinda sags a bit i cant see how exactly but i can feel it, all my family says its nice and i have a manley fgure and im waiting on some lass i know of facebook to comment on a photo of my ass to get an opinion also im thinking of rejoing a football club (just plucking up the courage and waiting for the right time)also i have to wear tight shirts because it makes me feal bigger if i wear a big one i feel realy skinny and it over hangs me arse and makes it feel bigger and uncomfortable. so tight shirts and not too long is the way forward for clothing for me .... thanks for your reply and it did help :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2011): it's probably genetic if your dad and bro also have the same body shape. however that just means that you have a genetic predisposition to store fat at the butt if you have excess fat. Having excess fat is not by itself genetic. e.g. if there was a famine and you were starving and emaciated you certainly wouldn't have a big butt.
you can't spot-reduce fat from certain parts of the body. to lose fat from one part of the body you have to lose fat in general.
sounds like you're getting physical exercise and you say you're eating right. But are you doing enough of both, for your situation? for example you may be 'eating healthy' but if you're eating a huge quantity every day you'll still have trouble losing fat.
what if you instead ate 6 small meals a day instead of 3 regular sized meals. that way you could feel full on less amount of food.
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A
female
reader, bluecow +, writes (19 December 2011):
 ok first things first... and others may not agree.
You cannot target weight loss. Weight loss happens throughout the body and it depends on the types of adipose tissue as to where it comes of first. So... yes you can lose weight but it will be throughout your body.
Do you need to lose fat? You mention your 10 stone, but if your only 4ft6 then you might need to lose a few pounds anyway. If you need to lose fat (not weight) then eating a balanced diet and more excercise will achieve this.
As for muscle, well remember that muscle weighs more than fat, so the scales arent going to give you an indication. What will happen is that as the fat goes, the muscle increases and so your behind will look more toned. Your not actually wanting to target muscle gain - as this will make your ass look bigger. An overall muscle increase will balance you more if there really is a disparity. General weight training (not to extreems) to build your pecs, shoulders and arms will balance your body. You mention you cycle and you also do a manual labour job. Its safe to assume your pretty toned already!
However, you mention that when you tense your butt its all tight and toned. My thoughts are that your ass is no different to anyone elses within your family, but your more concious of it. What do your friends and girlfriends say? As a woman there is something very special about a man who has a nice ass. So many men have none... its like their trousers hang from waist to thigh. So to see a man with a lovely ass is just yummy.
Trust me when I tell you many men would love a bigger ass. There is even underwear to padd a mans ass!!! http://s5.thisnext.com/media/largest_dimension/CD9FC498.jpg
Be thankful you dont feel the need to resort to a pair of these!
Hopefully now you realise that its not your ass thats the problem, its your problem with your ass.
You mention you suffer from anxiety (is that just body image related or general?), and shyness. Those are much bigger issues which perhaps deserve their own cupid letter.
There are some things I suggest that you do to help overcome your body image issues. 1 - wear clothes you consider flattering. I find a man in tight jeans but an untucked formal shirt VERY sexy. It would also hide your ass and so give you a little confidence as your own mentally percieved "problem area" is covered.
If you catch someone looking, then look at their face. See what they do afterwards. I would bet a months salary that theyre not laughing cos its big... they are laughing cos its lovely and has just provided them with some eye candy. They are more likely to smile and nudge their girlfriend so that she can have an oggle too. So.. now you have to keep telling yourself when you catch someone looking that this is a COMPLIMENT! Repeat it as a mantra if necessary. If your feeling naughty then next time you catch someone wiggle your ass and give them a wink as you leave!
Shyness is another thing entirely. I'm assuming your ok with your male peers, as you play football and work in a male orientated environment, if not please come back and let me know.
So how to approach the ladies. Well there are lots of things you could do which will increase your confidence in chatting to women. Do you have any other interests? reading, painting, pottery, dogs, cats etc?
I'm going to suggest that you go out and begin a new hobby, something more female orientated. This will give you common ground to talk to other women, without there being the pressure of romance involved. By joining a club/group you will already have the ice broken by having that common interest. You can keep the chit-chat to general topics around the hobby until you build your confidence. As you get to know the ladies you can then build friendships which will allow your confidence even more.
Could you volunteer 1 hour a week at your local dog shelter to walk the homeless dogs?
Could you use your work skills to teach a womens group? (carpentry, plumbing, brick laying, diy)
Do you fancy learning to paint or joining a reading group?
What about going to evening class for a new qualification?
Remember these suggestions arent there to find you romance, theyre there to help you explore an interest, and learning to talk to women platonically whilst overcoming your shyness. You will gain confidence as you learn a new hobby, and you will gain confidence in chatting to the women in your group.
Hope that helps xx
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