A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I want to live with my boyfriend. How can I avoid sex before marriage? What excuse should I give when he asks for that? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xLovex  +, writes (23 August 2008):
Hii
if you love each other you respect each other
If he doesnt respect your wishes then what can that say about the realtionship or further issues.
I think you should tell him the truth. A relationship should be built on trust - (the failure of romeo and juliet's relationship was caused by a weak foundation)
If you avoid him you are risking loosing him due to the fact you are pushing him away causing a distance in your relationship. I advise you tell him how and why you feel sex should be after marraige. Good on you for your principles xxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): well . . im going through the same condition but unlike u .. i dont live with him . we are now officially engaged but every time i go and meet him i feel the vibes for sex from him which i dont want at any cost before marrige ! ive been thinking alot over it and finally came to a conclusion and now ive stop meeting him or visiting his place that often .. the less we meet means less chances of us getting into sex. we cant blame only the males having this urge. it comes from both the sides.. may be one day you want it from him. so, if you really want to stick to your decision of having no sex before marrige, stop living with him !!
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A
female
reader, doe44  +, writes (23 August 2008):
You are too stupid for your own good. You are your worse ennemy. I bet you a dollar no matter what we tell you after a month you will be doing kouchi kouchi all day with him. See respect and integrity should be within you. do not go curling under someone d... and not expect to get it. You are a liar. You want it big time that is why you are moving in with him
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (23 August 2008):
 If having sex before marriage is wrong, living together should be off limits too. It's naive to think your chances of living together and avoiding sex is very promising. Sex is a natural urge and you're at an age where it can be hard to resist. If you want to avoid sex, don't live together.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (23 August 2008):
 It might actually be better for both of you if you didn't move in until you were just about to get married. Frankly, living together, where you have access to one another at all hours, can create a situation that will be tempting to both of you. You are firm in your resolve right now, but that resolve might not look so strong after a couple of months of ultimate temptation when he looks at you and you look at him and you both know you want to and there's nothing but the threads of that resolve stopping you.
If you are determined to do this, first come to a mutual agreement about expectations. You've got to convince him that you are serious about this, and you've got to get his total agreement to this, or it simply is not going to work. Then establish daily routines that will minimize temptations. Make sure that the two of you arrange to respect privacy scrupulously, for example. Plan your days that way, in a very structured manner. And stick to those plans no matter what. No exceptions.
Don't expect this to be an easy thing. You're tempting fate here. But you can make it work if both of you are really determined and willing to approach it wholeheartedly and intelligently.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): Well, I'd say there isnt much you can do about it. If you move in with him, chances are he will convince you.If I know anything about guys (since i am one), we are a horny b*stards. He will convince you one way or another, but not before a great deal of frustration on both of you.You cant expect to live with someone and not be sexually active with them. Thats just how things are. Regardless of your background and culture.Maybe you should discuss it with him prior to moving in? Maybe he wants to live with you for sex? (No offence to you or your boyfriend.)Just think things over carefully.Also I must say I admire the "no sex before marrigae" part. Seems different from whats going on all over the world these days (including your part of it). :)
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A
female
reader, Thalia  +, writes (23 August 2008):
tell him the truth. If he asks you just tell him you are waiting till marriage. If he is the one for u he shall respect those wishes and if not, then you'll know that you'll have to do a lot of thinking whether you want to take it any more serious or not. Remember relationships are based also on truth and loyalty. If you cant tell him what is quite important to you, than something is wrong because if he loves you...he wont laugh or go sleep with another person until you are married.
good luck!
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