A
female
age
26-29,
*etUp
writes:I'm 16, and I've recently watched my first porn videos (just like 4 or so), but I stopped quickly because I felt so bad for watching them, like I've done something I wasn't supposed to. I feel like I did something wrong, and I'm really embarrassed for even admitting my secret. I'm so ashamed!But anyways, on the few videos I did watch, I saw girls taking in really big uhmm... things into them. And I thought that maybe it wouldn't hurt to try and stick something in me too... but it did. I tried with the end of an unused toothbrush (really disgusting, I know), and it was a bit painful. I think I even bled a little.So now I'm panicking. What if for my first time I can't handle the pain and tell whoever I'm doing it with to take it out? I don't want to disappoint him and ruin the mood. (By the way, I'm not saying I'm going to have sex soon. I'm too young for that.)Is there a way to ease the pain a little though? I just want to be prepared.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 I'll deal with the porn issue.. Many people like it, and many people don't. Never feel pressurized to be interested in porn because that's what everyone else likes. The shame and embarrassment you felt watching such things is very normal. Sexuality on a whole is a very private thing, and many people (especially women) feel uncomfortable with the reality of sex, desire, and find it uncomfortable watching other people having sex.... all is normal. Many women masturbate and touch themselves, but because nobody ever talks about it, it has a forbidden feel about it. You were curious, you had a look, you wanted to try what you saw, and you didn't find it very comfortable. Again, normal, many people (especially women) have their first sexual experiences go like this. If you've not had sex before, there is no need for you to use anything except your hands. Penetration as you found out, just hurts and doesn't feel much good. Hands are the best thing, they help you enjoy your body and learn all about it. You'll find out when it changes because you are on your period, you can learn what your breast feel like, so if any lumps develop when you are older you will be able to spot them right away. You will also learn what type of touches you like best, and you'll be able to show your future partner how to touch you in the right way.
But as the aunts have warned, porn is not the same as what happens in real life. The women are paid actresses, and have lots of experience and had lots of sex. It's not a good guide for young teenagers. It gives you many strange ideas. Sex between two people is usually much more fun, sometimes there is laughing, and it's a lot slower than the movies make out. Women in porn can stop the camera and fix their hair and make up, real women can't. Also porn never shows how often sex goes wrong. Man's dick won't stand up (porn cuts that out) woman can't relax and so feels pain (again, porn ladies are paid to smile). Also nobody ever belches, farts or embarrasses themselves. And porn misses out the important bits that makes sex feel extra special. The kissing and the cuddling afterwards, which makes you feel loved and adored.
Don't worry about sex, it's not a competition, when your ready and the right person comes along, you'll relax, and he'll go slow, and if there are problems, (unable to relax, difficult penetration) you will deal with it together, or wait for a better time. Worrying about sex is the worst thing you can do.
A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (25 November 2011):
 I am not going to give you 'the sex talk' lol, it seems like you already know what you are doing. I will suggest not watching porn. I have been in professional *ahem* videos, and I can tell you with certainty that what happens on screen is absolutely nothing like real life.
Your first time, when you get round to it, will likely be a little painful. But it can't be that bad, or nobody would do it again would they? Lol.
To make it better for you, there are some simple steps you can take... firstly make sure you are definate about the person and completely comfortable with it. Do not rush at all. Make sure you are turned on with foreplay and use plenty of lube. Take things slowly and don't be afraid to stop. You will know when it feels right x
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 November 2011):
 You must have been be one of those kids who watch MacGyver then blow up their parents' attic in the attempt of building a rocket or something, lol .
No darling " don't try this at home ", the porn actresses are not virgins and can stand a different much rougher handling.
Don't worry , generally the pain is nothing to write home about, it's more a discomfort. In real life you can go slow ( it does not have to be all in a single go ), you can have lots of foreplay, make sure you are very well lubricated, the feel, texture and warmth of a real penis will feel much better than a piece of plastic, and of course you'll be hopefully more psyched up about being with a live man than with a tootbrush :)
I think everything will be just dandy, but in the meantime, to be on the safe side, if you want to experiment,... experiment with relaxation techniques , ( being relaxed helps immensely ).
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (25 November 2011):
 I would NOT suggest that you try what you saw. I'm glad to hear that you are not planning on having sex yet but hon, that's no way to "ready" yourself. In fact, that could come with serious consequences-you could really hurt yourself! Some women experimenting with such things have ended up in the ER-can you imagine? Anyways hon, your first time is about YOU. If you do not feel comfortable, if you're in pain, you're in rights to stay STOP. If the guy gets disappointed, he's not a gentleman nor does he care for you well-being. Watching porn is not the answer. If you can, read: The Little Black Book for Girlz. It's a collection of stories from girls about sex but it has a lot of good advice and information. If you're going to have sex, please make sure you trust and have known your partner for some time. Be sure he cares for you. Most importantly, be safe-please! Use a condom and a back-up birth control method. If for any reason, you don't use condoms, make sure that your partner has been tested for STDs. If he objects, no sex of any kind. Asking him to be tested is not a matter of trust, but of safety. He may think he's healthy, but you never know. Oral sex carries risks too. Check out the planned parenthood website. But, to answer your question, from what I know, proper lubrication is the key to having less painful sex the first time. Good luck, hon and we're all for you if you any more questions, ok? Be safe and be well :)
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