A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im only 15 yrs old how do i know when im sexualy active because i want to have sex but then i dont want to but i really do want to have sex badly with my bf and how do i tell my bf im ready to have sex with him? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 June 2008):
 You had some good advice from the other aunts here, I really like bday's comprehensive list.
There was an article posted a while ago that had some advice on this very topic.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-really-ready-for-sex--.html
Have a read of that too!
I think if you're not 100% certain, then it's still too early for you. It's not a race, and you shouldn't feel any pressure to be have sex from anybody, your boyfriend or your friends included.
So wait for a while, and then revisit the question again later.
All the best.
A
female
reader, justaskxxx  +, writes (23 June 2008):
i'm sure if your bf is a keeper he will understand that making your first time special and comfortable is very important. You need to feel ready in yourself and at complete ease with your bf.
Becoming sexually active can be a very nervous and emotional time, so please wait until you know you are ready and don't feel pressured by anyone.
Be safe, im sure you know what i mean, and don't forget you're only 15, you have plenty of time to enjoy being with your bf and when the time's right enjoy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anee +, writes (23 June 2008):
 you will just know its the right thing to do.
i dont no how long u have been with this guy so its hard..
i was 15 when i lost my virginity but i was with the guy for 8months b4 and still am 4yrs later.
i would say you have to feel 100% tht u want to do this,
sex is a really big deal and u want ur first time to be special
be carefull and make sure u use contraception tho.
all in all i think u need to really thing about what u want to do. it there are doubts the answer is probably no.
dnt feel pressurised by others - every1 is different and u do what is best 4 u
good luck xx
...............................
A
female
reader, bday121 +, writes (22 June 2008):
 You are ready when you feel completely emotionally and mentally prepared to have sex. This means that you know all the consequences of having sex. You realize that you could get caught. You realize that sex can result in pregnancy. You realize that you will be sharing your entire body with someone else. You realize that sex is an adult act that requires maturity.
Don't have sex until you have plans in order. What method of contraception will you use? Condoms work ok, but the birth control pill would really be best. Don't have sex until you can protect yourself from STD's and unwanted pregnancy. What will you do if your parents catch you? Do you think they'll approve? Don't have sex until you are confident that you can deal with the consequences of being caught. Formulate a plan for unwanted pregnancy. Are you prepared, emotionally and financially, to get an abortion? You're definitely not ready for a baby, so that's what your exit plan would be. Do you think you can do that? Would your parents support you if you got pregnant or wanted an abortion? It's extremely easy to make one little mistake and get pregnant. If you're not ready to have a baby or get an abortion, or at least get some good contraception, then you're not ready for sex.
When you decide to have sex, be 100% sure that that's what you REALLY want. Just from your post I can tell you're not ready because you're so unsure. Wait until you're positive that you found the right guy to give your virginity to. Be in a stable relationship with a guy that cares about you. If you just waste your virginity on any random guy you'll regret it.
You must realize the emotions that come with sex. And be aware of what happens afterward. If you have sex with a guy, and he doesn't really care about you, he can start rumors of you being a "whore" or that you're pregnant or whatever. He can go and tell your whole school exactly what kind of sexual acts you did for him. He might just use you for sex and then leave. How would you feel about that? Crushed? Humiliated? You're ready for sex when you're mature enough to be able to deal with all the emotional consequences. You're not ready for sex until you can tell the difference between a decent, caring guy and a low, shallow, sexaholic guy.
Sex requires a lot of maturity and thinking. It can be a beautiful thing, but you must be ready for it. I really believe 15 is just NOT old enough. You're still so young and have so much maturity ahead of you. Enjoy being a teenager for now. Wait until you're 17 or 18, or until you find the right guy for it. That doesn't mean you have to be married, but it's best if both of you are in love. For now you should just enjoy lesser sexual acts with your boyfriend.
And I understand where you're coming from, because I was in a similar position. But I waited until I was completely ready at 18 and I'm very happy I did.
...............................
A
female
reader, accused +, writes (22 June 2008):
 First off let me say that there is plenty of time for sex.. Being a mature adult is a start for being ready. If you are unsure and keep changing your mind on what you want, then I would say that you just chill out and wait till your mature enough to know when you are ready to have sex with someone. There is a lot of things to factor in when you start having sex. The precautions of avoiding pregnancy and the emotional attachments.... My best advice to you is wait..... You will have the rest of your life to make these choices.... Enjoy being a teen ager while you can........
...............................
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (22 June 2008):
 For what it's worth, I don't believe you are ever truly ready, until you actually start have sex; if that makes sense?
You don't mention the age of your boyfriend or how long you have been together. Nonetheless don't feel pressured, and there is no harm in waiting a bit longer until you feel truly sure, or as sure as you can be.
I reckon truly ready is when one night you really really want to, but don't because you are too shy to mention it. Perhaps after then it is only a matter of time.
On the other side of things, there is more peer pressure about sex than anything else. So it has to feel 'right'. Plus there is the age of consent laws, and I am at risk of sounding old-fashioned. But it is there for a reason, and in the USA it is a couple of years older than the UK. At least in the UK you would be almost old enough at 16. So I feel for you there.
Do please try and wait.
...............................
|
