A
female
age
30-35,
*ovelylegs139
writes:okay, so I have had sex with two people. with my ex and my current partner. they have both been very pleasurable, and felt really good, but I'm not exactly sure if I've ever actaully "came" before...I mean im wet during sex...but I never really feel an "amazing sensation" like I'm cumming or anything...how do I know if I am...is this weird:(? my boyfriend is always asking me to tell him when I'm going to during sex, and I lie every time so that he can, but im not actually cumming:(... its sad. and I want to experience it with him...please help
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 If you have to ask yourself whether you had an orgasm or not... then you didn't.
It's a very distinctive, peculiar sensation... hard to describe but , I am sure that when it happens you won't miss it !
That does not mean though that it has to be every time an earth shattering moment when your hear bells ringing and angels singing :) Most of the times it's gonna be more low key- and ,it does not matter. Orgasms are nice but no the be-all and end-all of sexuality, a woman can thouroughly enjoy sex even when it does not lead to climax . Now, go try explaining this to a man, any man. They 'll just refuse to believe it and will take it personally if they did not " rock your world ".
That's why I can understand why you lie to your bf and you fake orgams. But don't do it any more though, that's gonna put on you a lot of pressure, you 'll be so caught up in checking your sensations ( am I coming, am I not ) and putting on a believable act, - that you will forget to just relax, enjoy and let it happen.
Just tell him that you are young and don't know yet what exactly does it for you, you need to try and experiment a lot of different things , and get to know your body with time and practice.In the meantime , explore with masturbation, engage in a lot of foreplay, and remember, orgasm is the cherry on top of the cake, but the cake itself it's pretty yummy too.
A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 If you think you haven't had an orgasm then you probably haven't. It's not easily achievable for most women even if you had the greatest lover in the world because there are so many factors that come into it. For example you need to be relaxed and at the moment you're probably getting yourself too worked up about making sure you orgasm and it's stopping you from really letting go.
Faking it is never going to help. Your man will be thinking that he's doing exactly what you want and it's working, only you know it isn't!
He cares about your pleasure so try different things, new positions etc and stop focusing on the idea that you must orgasm. Explain to your partner that even if you don't orgasm sex is still fun for you. When the pressures off you might find it happens for you.
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