A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been having this fling with someone for a few months now and I have been feeling confused about whats been going on and where we stand. (If its just for fun or if there is potential for example)When it has come to dating etc, I have always been shy about telling the guy how I'm feeling but because of this experience I know that I need to open up a bit more. So I texted this guy saying if we talk and he said "yes we can, everything ok..." and basically I just said what I felt - I am feeling confused about us and where we stand.He hasn't answered back, which in a way I understand, but how long should I wait? And is it really important to give a guy time in this situation?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 January 2011):
If it's a fling now, it will be a fling later too.
A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (29 January 2011):
 You're treating it like a fling, which means he's going to treat it like a fling too. I'm assuming by 'fling' you mean 'friends with benefits', and if that's the case, it's safe to assume it's not going to turn into more. Not now, not ever. You're already giving him the benefits of a relationship, i.e. the 'benefits' part of fwb.
Your question probably caught him off guard, and he doesn't know what to say. Give him a day or two, if you don't hear back from him it means he doesn't want more than what you already have now. If you do hear from him and he says 'we're friends' or something along those lines, it's not going anywhere and he's basically only in it for sex.
Generally, it doesn't take a long time for men to know whether they want to be with a woman long-term or not. The ones that stay undecided are just buying time until someone better comes along. Don't ever wait for a guy to make up his mind, if several days pass and you don't get a reply just move on, don't waste your time waiting for this guy to make up his mind.
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