A
male
 ,
*yder
writes:Im the type of guy who isn't in contact with alot of people. Its not something i wake up and try to accomplish. I tend to focus on things which dont seem important to most people. Being like this in my nature i dont come across many women, and when i do.. it usually ends up with her thinking of me as a brother or as a best friend, or it just doesn't work out and i usually get bummed for a solid 4+ months.I am sensitive and i know it.. which is why i dont like to get to close because i know its gona bite me in the ass later. So i just live and enjoy my life and try not to worry about meeting the right girl in faith that eventually it will work itself out.My question is, how do i know when she is the right girl? when she is the one i should risk things for? when she is the one that will not break my heart? when she is the one who will truly love me in return for my love?What led me to think about this and ask is that there is a girl atm whom i like and i know she likes me too... im just afraid of getting too close because she is a far relative and i dont want anything to get too awkward if it doesnt work out. And in the culture i live in, its alright for relatives to marry each other just as long as they aren't 1st or 2nd cousins... so please no comments about incest and all that stuff!
View related questions:
best friend, cousin, incest Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Hmmmmm, tough one. I think you just know if you have found the right person for you, you find yourself doing things you wouldn't normally do, you find yourself sacrificing things for the other person, and they do the same for you aswell. Take it slow with this girl if you like her, don't rush into anything and see what comes of it.
Yes there is the danger that it might not work out, but you don't know unless you try...
A
female
reader, LiveAnnLearn  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Unfortunately you can never know in advance, but wouldn't in be silly to miss out on an opportunity to bhe with a girl you like and who likes you back, just because if it doesn't work out things might get awkward in the future? By the way it's not like it's set in stone that a relationship between 2 people who break up has to be awkward - as long as you treat her with respect etc. you could easily part on good terms if the time comes. Go for it!
...............................
A
male
reader, jimrich  +, writes (13 September 2010):
re: it just doesn't work out
.....Why? What's the problem? Have you ever examined your relationships to see what you could learn from them?
re: how do i know when she is the right girl?
.... There is no such thing as 'the right girl'! All there is, is the sufficient KNOWLEDGE for making a relationship work with just about any girl - right or not.
when she is the one i should risk things for?
.. When you know exactly how to make a relationship work, there is little or no risk - just intelligent, dedicated work or play depending on how you see the process.
when she is the one that will not break my heart?
.... That's risk you will take no matter what BUT when you know how to communicate, be honest, stay faithful, solve problems, remain best friends, keep the love alive and growing, and a bunch of other skills, there is less chance that anyone can fool you and 'break your heart' - you won't be a blind and helpless little victim in the partnership!
when she is the one who will truly love me in return for my love?
... True love is only a small part of a good relationship where as KNOWLEDGE of how to have and hold onto that true love is the main thing. Without good relationship knowledge & skills, love, true or otherwise, can die a sudden mysterious death!
I suggest you google: relationship tips or relationship skills or go to any book store or library and get busy learning exactly how to relate to anyone. If that's too much trouble, go on being afraid and miserable waiting for some miracle to occur.
Good luck learning how...
:) Jim
...............................
A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (13 September 2010):
If you take it slow, play it cool, and don't lay your heart at her doorstep for her to stomp on, it won't get stomped on. And you'll be more attractive to her than the guy who just wants to be her lap-dog. So really, you're doing yourself a favor.
How do you know when she is the right girl? The extent to which you can judge a girl's potential without actually being in a relationship with that girl is through general relationship experience. Which you don't have much of. Otherwise, you just have to have experiences with the specific girl you're wondering about. I don't know how old you are, but basically, it's probably not going to work out, and that's fine, because the next one will be better.
...............................
|
