A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am married. However I am attracted to women also. My husband knows about this. Of course it "turns" him on. I have a new friend that I just met who is also married. I would like to do something sexual with her but I don't know if she likes women also. Is there some way or something that I can look for to tell if she does before I "make a move"? I don't want to ruin our friendship if I do try something and she is not into women. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): I say start off by flirting “friendly” and see how she reacts ie “oh you have such a sweet smile” etc.
If she’s receptive move on to saying something a tad more naughty, ie “I wish i were those jeans or shirt (whatever her best asset is), because they seem to behaving fun hugging you ***Laugh it off in a j/k kind of way*** and wait to see how she reacts.
or I’d like to see that sexy __(whatever)__ in action” and laugh it off.
If she looks at you weird STOP!!! If she says something back in a j/k kind of way than it’s game, but with CAUTION of course! She could be just very confident and not homophobic.
Good luck Sweetie! A fellow vagina lover ;)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): First I wonder if this would involve your husband or just you?
If your husband knows about it, would he be joining in? Are you not jealous?
And if you don’t tell your husband, I believe than that would be considered cheating on him.
If you don’t scare her off, I presume she would have to discuss it with her husband and what if he wants to join in? Now you have a foursome.
Would you be okay if she had sex with your husband and would she be okay if you have sex with her husband? Would you feel comfortable with both men looking?
But I also have to stop and wonder, what makes you think she would be approachable to begin with? Has she said or done something to trigger this idea in your head, or do you just fancy her?
Think about all of the above questions, because you just might loose a friendship you just started. And also is it that you are sexually attracted to her, or is there something about her that you admire? Because you admire someone doesn’t necessarily mean you sleep with them. And like the fellow above mentioned if she were to say no, would you still be friends?
Hope that I have not caused you to be more confused, but just to ponder before acting on impulse.
Cheers to you!
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Okay, maybe it's just me being sensitive or something, but this title is rather offensive - "lesbo" is used as a deragatory term, you know... It's not like the term "queer" which has been embraced by the gay community.
Anyway, hi anonymous--
I see that you wrote it turns your husband on that you're into women, as well. Does this mean that he's given you the go-ahead to hook up with other women? If not, then I strongly advise against it, as this would be considered cheating. It would be best to just remain friends with this woman - then you wouldn't have to worry about your question.
If your husband said it would be fine for you to be with other women, then you need to make sure that your relationship is strong enough to handle this. Did you know that female body actually produces a hormone after intercourse which "makes" her have strong emotional attachment to the person she's slept with? I think you might want to reconsider doing this, as it may mess up an otherwise healthy relationship. Perhaps you need to speak with your husband and see what the two of you can do to spice up your sex lives *together*. Like Eddie said, "I believe you're opening Pandora's Box."
So if you decide you want to sleep with this woman afterall, then I think it'd be best to get to know her better. Sexual orientation might come up and then you'd know if things were possible. Plus something else to consider is the fact that she is married, as well. So you'll need to find out what sort of relationship she and her husband have - if it's as open as your's. This might/could also come up in conversation - since you two will be friends. You could also see if she has a myspace account (or any other social networking account) because a lot of times people write their sexual orientation there.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 The best way to find out is to say to mention to her in conversation that your husband would be very turned on seeing you and another woman making out then wait for her response. She might come straight out and say she could never have sex with another woman then again she could say that sounds cool and a real turn on. This way you'll know through talking casually about it whether or not she would be up for something like this without actually asking her outright.
Just be careful bringing another person into the bedroom though, although in fantasy it sounds erotic, reality isn't always the same many complications could set in.
Good luck, whatever happens.
Eve
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 I don't think you're looking for a friend as much as hunting for a partner. If you knew this person would never have sex with you, would you still want to spend time with her. This obvioulsy is preoccupying your mind about her. It's hard to be a true friend when you're desiring that person sexually. It clouds your judgement. Before you can drop that bomb on someone, you should get to know them. Feel them out and talk generally about those topics. You might get an idea that way. Be prepared for rejection though as the majority of people are not going to be open to your desires. I'm not saying what you want is bad. I don't think it's a great idea. I believe you're opening Pandoras Box.
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