A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi Guys,Please can you advise me how to not get so attached to a girl that I'm being casual with? We speak everyday, but I want to just keep it to fwb only.Thank you Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 July 2015):
stop planning.
you "both agreed a relationship won't work"
but you don't know that.
the fact that you ask, means to me that you have in some way considered it as an option.
I had a great LDR/NSA/FWB relationship.... we fell in love anyway. We fought it... and finally gave up and will be married three years in October.
if you don't want a relationship but want to be with her you have no choice but to go with the flow and not fight it.
just know that it sounds like YOU may be the one to fall for her... OR she's lying (to you and herself) that a relationship won't work
sometimes I think folks use the "relationship won't work now" as an easy way to get started...
if it happens it happens... if it happens for both of you... the yes a relationship will work. It just may not be a relationship that others get or approve of.
just enjoy. worry about falling in love with each other later on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have both agreed that a relationship won't work at this stage. We have both come out of on relationships and just want a bit of fun.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (7 July 2015):
The only way is for you to drop the girl and not see her ever. If you are unable to keep her as a meaningless sex object whose sole purpose is for you to acquire an orgasm then that means that you have healthy empathy and perhaps you should be with her. However, if you do not want to be with her, whatever the reason, your empathy for her should tell you that you should not string her up so let her go her own way, even if that means her getting another meaningless man who will give her orgasms. What I gather from your post, and it is strongly evident, is that you care about attachment because you have ended up attaching value to a female with whom you started being with for meaningless reasons. That means that you should seek a girl that will love you back. If this one rejects that then let her go and look for one that can fulfill your attachment needs.
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (7 July 2015):
It's very easy to develop feelings for someone you are being intimate with, so you may not be able to keep sleeping together without growing more attached. Why would you not want it to become more than fwb?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2015): FWB have a short shelf life. It's only a matter of time befor you have to decide whether to end it or make it an official relationship. Good luck!
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