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What do you think of men secretly taking nude photos and videos of their wives?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pornography, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 July 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 July 2015)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I've visited some forums about men secretly taking pictures of their wives while they are nude, either during sexual contact and without them being aware in other areas, such as disrobing.

According to the forums some of the men do this because their wife has told them no and they think there wife has such a hot body and they want to keep a snapshot of their wife as she is now and look fondly back as they grow older.

Some of the men post the pictures online and wife swap pictures with others, even their neighbors wives pictures. They get a sexual high knowing other men have viewed their wives bodies online and they enjoy reading the comments from other men.

Also, some of the women have discovered what their husbands are doing and are either outraged they are taking photos without their knowledge and some women let it go and even get off that they have posted them online.

If it is consensual, the wives allow the nude photo taking because they hope it will cut down their husbands porn time and spice up their sex life.

As far as it being consensual, isn't that feeding the beast in regards to the porn problem. I don't see how that would diminish the porn watching.

There is coercive paraphilia or voyeurism of secretly taking nude photos without a persons consent. It appears the sexual rush is in the observing and taking nude photos with the "victim" unaware of the voyeurism taking place.

I am placing this a topic of discussion because it appears to be more rampant with modern technology and cell phones and hidden video cams and spy devices.

View related questions: porn, sex life

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2015):

Even if a woman consented to have nude photos taken of her, she has "every right" to "change her mind" and have them destroyed.

Just make sure they are completely destroyed and wiped off the computer and on any other storage devices and don't forget cloud storage.

We want to love and trust these men, but they violate that trust when they secretly take nude photos.

No means NO.

They wind up losing a perfectly good woman, their marriage and kids, friends and parents, their career (let alone damaging the women's career or future employment) by what they have done.

It's on par with a drug addiction.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2015):

If you suspect that a man is secretly taking nude photos of you, you should consult an attorney.

I think you can get an Order of Protection. I believe they can get an IT person to seize their computer to find evidence and also if the photos were posted online and then wipe the hard drive clean. I am sure they would seize all flash drives and cd's and dvd's.

My main concern is that a man would make extra copies onto flash drives and hide them somewhere in the house, "never" to be found.

It's obtaining the evidence that I think would be hard for the woman if she doesn't have access to a boyfriends or spouses computer, yet suspects he may have taken nude photos of her. That is the gray area and where an attorneys advice would help.

I think you can file under a Jane Doe so that your name doesn't appear on court records in that people wouldn't harass you in the future.

Here is a link to laws being enacted against Revenge Porn: http://withoutmyconsent.org/

Here is a link to the attorney that is getting these laws passed: http://www.cagoldberglaw.com/aboutcontact/

Once those photos get posted online anyone can copy them and put them on other sites to be recirculated forever.

It would be hard to keep tracking down the sites. That is the problem.

It's bad enough when someone you are suppose to love and trust takes nude photos of you without your permission, let alone posts them online for their own sexual rush/high.

It is sickening and selfish of these men to do this to their wives. Totally humiliating.

What happened to love, honor and cherish your wife?

Obviously it is an addiction.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2015):

Even if they didn't post the nude photos online, it is still a lack of total disrespect when they are secretly taking nude photos or videotaping them having sex.

The men have violated a very intimate act and used it for their own selfish gain.

I would immediately be out of the relationship, even if the photos never made it online. I would make sure all the photos were deleted and that the hard drive was clean. I'd probably smash the hard drive and any flash drives or cd's.

I can understand the shame of the victims, because you are nude and the victims, of course, not wanting anyone to see them nude and hence not going to the police and having others view the photos. I totally get that.

I also get where it can be a mental disorder or an addiction much like going to porn sites. It's labeled voyeurism but it's on the level of a peeping tom and it is clearly a mental disorder.

Also, posting online nude photos of their unsuspecting wives leads to addiction in continuously doing that and it has busted up marriages.

So, yes, one can feed the other. The thrill comes from secretly taking nude photos of your wife and the thrill of secretly posting the photos online, if it comes to that.

The men need to see a sexual therapist to help with their addictions.

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A female reader, boo22 United Kingdom +, writes (7 July 2015):

boo22 agony auntI wonder why women wouldn't think to do this?

At least that is what I imagine is true.

Its deeply misogynistic.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2015):

I get why it's a turn on. I kind of like the idea in theory. But in reality I'd be outraged if my partner was posting nude pictures of me online, it's such a huge violation of trust and respect and potentially very damaging to a relationship.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (7 July 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI think it shows a TOTAL lack of respect and empathy. No respect for the wife/SO/GF/spouse as a PERSON or her/his right to privacy either.

To see your wife's body as sexual pieces of meat that YOU (as a spouse) "owns" the right to do with as you please is so pathetically outdated and misogynistic.

And I find it disgusting that they use the "cover" of a fetish or whatnot to do it. Like THAT excuses everything.

And I do NOT understand women who are being VICTIMIZED by their spouses STAY married. I would divorce & sue his ASS of, if my husband did that to me.

What gets me even more upset is... Women gets SHAMED for having taken these nudes. "Oh she should not allow it" - "it's her own fault"..... but WHY aren't people "blaming" the PERSON who USES these pictures to gain power over another human, to use as leverage (like the couple of posts I have seen on DC where a BF blackmails his GF to not leave him or he will post her nudes all over the internet, so she stays out of fear.) People like that should be NAILED to the church doors by their short and curly!

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