A
female
age
36-40,
*ayla-sapphire
writes:since i was 16 (im now 23) i've know this guy from college called simon. we are really good friends, if not best friends. we've managed to stay in touch even though we went to different universities. he's always been there for me and i trust him loads. a few times when we've met up and got drunk, we've been a bit frisky (had a few drunk kisses, nothing else). he then got into a relationship and so did i. we continued meeting up with mutual friends and we both seemed fine. recently he broke up with his one and only love, and i broke up with an abusive guy a few months back. simon and i met up for a chat and ended up getting drunk and having sex. i know he still misses and loves his ex and im not one to want a relationship, just fun, i was worried the sex would ruin our relationship but since we slept together he hasnt stopped texting me and making sure i dont forget him. i like the idea of friends with benefits but im worried i may fall for him and he gets back with his ex. how do i keep it stictly friends? and how do i not fall for him??? help me!!
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female
reader, macy.lou  +, writes (12 August 2011):
 First of all how do you know he won't fall for you too?! There really is no way to not fall for him. THe only thing I can think of is just run now, but do you really want to lose him all together? Just see what happens maybe he'll end up falling for you. Even if neither of you are ready for a relationship right now I would just take it slow and see what happens. You never know what could happen.
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (12 August 2011):
 Well you could start by not having sex with him. Oxytocin is a powerful hormone in humans, and it can cause emotional attachments. Which is the reason he hasn't stopped texting you. If you keep it up, you'll start to feel strong feelings for him as well. If you don't want a relationship with him, or to be friends with benefits, then just let him know that you don't want to get more deeply involved- and you much rather keep his friendship. Sex can ruin close friendships, because the line has already been crossed by the two people becoming intimate. In many cases it reaches the point of no return.
Just have a talk with him. And when you're ready, start looking for someone else to get date/involved with.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (12 August 2011):
Nothing wrong with falling for him. Just make sure there is no chance of his getting back with the ex.
When you think about it, if you really like this guy, you are better off being in a relationship. This "friends with benefits" thing implies no commitment, and is more likely to end up with him seeking another woman, including his ex.
If he wants to keep things the way they are, then he may just be using you.
But I genuinely think there is a possibility that you are more to him than you think.
Take the opportunity while you still have it.
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