A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and I literally had sparks flying when we started off, I have two kids from another guy who is not in the picture at all. He wanted them to start calling him daddy and so they do, they love him so much and so do I. The past two months things have gone downhill, he has packed his stuff like he is going to leave and when he gets drunk around his brother he talks really down on me and acts as if I said or did something to attack him. Which I didnt. I am not working I have been looking though, so not only did he go from a bachelor to a family but had to take on the financial stuff too. Right now he is gone, he was drunk and was saying nasty things and had his brother come and pick him up, he said he was done that I bitch too much, which I am guilty of. Now he says he needs to be able to do things like go out and be a man, he feels suffocated in the house all the time. He works six days a week, and we only have one car since his is in need of serious repairs. I love him so much he is my best friend and i will do anything to make him happy, it just seems like he has given up. Is it the stress getting to him? What should i do? I need advice I cant lose him he is a great guy and so good to my kids.
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (4 November 2012):
 You don't see the irony in abusing the abused? Although I don't like his approach, anonymous is right. this guy's no longer the good guy for you anymore. something that is important for you to realize is you can't selectively like someone because they won't allow you to: the bad will take over the good. saying he's XYZ bad is enough to get rid of him, it's not even just enough it's the only answer. think about how many nice guys there are out there where this doesn't even come into the picture. So he's already packed up, he's made this easy for you. put his stuff on the porch tonight and move on.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): Base on what you wrote, you are wrong about him being a great guy and your best friend. You deserve better and your kids deserve better.
Base on what you wrote, he sounds like a guy that will get worst and become abusive. You do not deserve that and your kids don't deserve that. At the very least, he sounds like a person that is not ready to be married or to be a father to any children.
Your best bet is remain being a single parent until you find a better man that is ready to be a husband and a father.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): "I love him so much he is my best friend and i will do anything to make him happy, it just seems like he has given up. Is it the stress getting to him?"
No, the alcohol is getting to him and your "dick first, kids second" attitude along with your absolute cluelessness and obliviousness is putting two innocent defenseless children in danger at the hands of a drunken,
potentially physically abusive, unrelated adult male virtual stranger due to their clueless and oblivious mother's astonishing and egregious neglect.
"What should i do? I need advice I cant lose him he is a great guy and so good to my kids."
Xxxxxx xxxxx xxx xxxxxxxxxxx xxxx xxxxxxxx. That's the only advice I can offer because it's the only advice you don't NOT want to hear.
If Cerberus posts a response, then listen to him. He has expertise and experience in this area that I am eternally grateful to God that I can't understand or comprehend or fathom as I never experienced anything remotely close to the living Hell that your kids must be silently enduring at their clueless and oblivious, astonishingly and egregiously neglectful mother's hands.
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