A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my stepdad left my mother to be with a girl 25 years younger than him. hes not rich by no means you know not a millionair, but he does makes huge bucks. he met this girl at work she worked in the office and he works as a car sales manager. they have lived together for about 8 months now. my mother gets temporary support from him and sees him twice a month to get it. i feel bad for her because when she comes back she is so upset, and depressed for the whole day. he just reciently asked if he could split his alimony to twice a month instead of once a month, because he says hes behind in his rent and having a lot of money issues. she agreed to help him out. i love both of them very much. i wish my mom could move on but she refuses she says that it wont last between the two of them. throughout their 21 years of marriage she was very good to him, i told her she deserved better than him. that he was not good enough for her. that she needed to get tough and think about what he has done. ive told her that he does not care about how shes doing or how she was going to make ends meet. after telling her all his problems, he took his now girlfriend to california to the mtv awards. im worried about her, and im worried about him, the 25 year old does not work, so he is supporting her and her son. i dont know if she loves him for him or the security, and money. i heard him tell her that he would give her the world and enjoy every minute of it. it p***ed me off because what he said to her, he should of said to my mother, she deserves that and than some. how do i help my mother move on from this. i would love to see both of them back together. i have never heard the girl tell my stepfather she loves him except one time when she said your my bestest friend im so glad i have you i love you. or on facebook she puts a heart u. i dont want to see him being taken advantage of either. i know i cant say hey dad she just wants u for ur money, because i really dont think he cares, as long as he has her. am i wrong here, does she really care. how do i help the both of them. any advice would be greatly helpful. i have noone to talk to and its a big burden to carry. thanks
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (5 September 2012):
 I agree that your mom should have the alimony mailed to her or given some other way. I don't think she should need to meet him, she probably wants to and secretly hopes he will come around when they meet up. Then is depressed when it doesn't happen. I know you want to help her and wish they got back together but unfortunately there's nothing you can do about this. They are grown and sometimes things happen like this. It sounds like he had a midlife crisis and went running to a younger girl. But whether this girl truly loves him or not doesn't make a difference in the overall situation, he doesn't want to be with your mother anymore. I think your mom will move on in time when she accepts this as it is. But until then there is nothing you can do. You can be there for her when she is down but don't get into trying to change your dad's mind or meddling in their relationship. I know you care but it is their problem and nothing you can solve for them. You say you have no one to talk to so if you ever want to you can message me here or any other aunt. I'd be glad to talk to you if it's weighing you down too much.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 September 2012):
 Why is your mom getting alimony? Is she disabled or a stay at home mom to his kids?
Why does she have to go get it, can’t he mail it to her?
To be honest, he may love the gf… and the fact that she’s 25 years younger does not have much bearing on it for me although I know several of the aunties and uncles here will disagree with me… sounds like dad might be having a midlife crisis… they happen… NOT much you or your mother can do about it…
My fiancé never says “I love you” he never posts it, it’s no one’s business but ours what goes on in our lives together… and sadly for you, it’s the same thing, IT’S NOT YOUR BUSINESS what your stepdad does… this is between your mom and him.
what mom needs to do is get a good lawyer and have the support issues written legally so she is financially protected...
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