A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some people to talk to please.. Ok now today my boyfriend wouldn't look at me all day. We been together half our life's i know something is wrong. But finding out what it is will be hard. He just keeps saying everything is fine nothing is wrong. Also he been unable to make eye contact during sex lately. But i complained about it and now i got the poker face from him the past two days.Also he is sleeping a lot more. I don't know if he cheated? Or what he is thinking.Or maybe he leaving :-( Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (27 April 2014):
 Hi,
Men are for the most part just as insecure as women. It could be that for one reason or another, he doesn't like himself at the moment. This can lead to depression and anxiety, which could be the reason he is sleeping a lot.
You don't mention anything that may have been said, or whether he has any health issues, which might be worth looking into.
I think we have all been depressed with either ourselves or our situation before and that can have a poor effect on your relationships.
I agree with Abella that you shouldn't jump to conclusions and just be open and honest.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you both.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 April 2014):
 Try to keep calm, distressing as it is. Try not to jump to conclusions. If he is sleeping a lot then is he depressed? Is it time for him to have a full check up with the Doctor. You can suggest that without it seeming that you do not trust him.
Look for other signs re cheating. has he smartened up his appearance, improved the standard of clothing that he wears. Has he changed his hair style, lost weight, shown an interest in new hobbies that take him out of the house, talk about a new woman at work a lot, been more protective around his phone?
If he is not giving up signs of cheating then is he sad about something in his health or his life? A death of a relative, problems at work, money or gambling problems?
If it is a health issue does he have any issues with erectile dysfunction? Is he not as fit as he used to be? Has he put on a lot of weight in recent years.
Try to work around things and keep the communication open so that he feels able to raise issues without getting a full blown argument blowing up in your face.
Take it slowly. You have been together a long time so the trust ought to be high.
Think about what was happening in his life when you first saw a change in his behaviour.
Not looking you in the eye is a bad sign, I agree. But he may also be ashamed of something else, and not be cheating.
It could be problems at work, someone putting too much pressure on him.
Take it one step at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time.
My thoughts are with you. And I do hope it works out well for you.
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