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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: When i am going out of station to a place i like, my family members become overwhelmed about the new adventure and imagine that if i am successful, it will relieve them of all their problems in life. They somewhat look at me as their savior who would liberate them from the miseries of the day to day life.. So whatever i do and find exciting also triggers these unrealistic expectation on their part. The problem is i feel confused about how do i make them understand as they are rigid about the belief "If you find something good that makes you happy, it is your moral duty to carry us along to the same level, no matter what the limitations / risks. Also on the other hand, they are not willing to compromise on the social security and support they get from the extended family they consider themselves to be a part of. They don't wont to experience the feelings of guilt for breaking a rule or two and keep their own image intact and that of being a decent member of the society. How do i handle these silly nature of people? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Banoffee  +, writes (15 June 2007):
 They sound like a total pain in the neck!
I'd be inclined to tell them to get out my face and I'll give them what I want to give them if and when I'm good and ready! I think you really need to get that straight with them before you go any further, for your own peace of mind. If you relieve yourself of the constant preoccupation with the burden of their dependency on the success of your endeavours, you're that much more likely to achieve something that you may wish to share with them. Tell them that! They'll have no argument!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Hi love,
Oh the expectations of family sometimes can be quite overwhelming, I nursed for 20yrs and my family still dont realise this. It still has'nt sunk in, i also did a three year course in hairdressing and mum still goes off to the hairdresser!!!!! But my sister who is finance and my brother we must appreciate how hard they work and what they have achieved, soon as my sister comes down everything stops...So expectations can come in so many different ways, love all you can do is live your life and do what makes you happy, how to handle other people that want to live there lives through you is hard but you can do it. Their expectations for you to make there life better is just that an expectation, just accept you for who you are and be happy, everybody has different ways of living life all you can do love is be yourself and learn from life you will find that you will grow and in the end you will feel you have achieved your own goals in your own time, just take your time, one day you may move away and then life will take a different path, Take care love i hope i helped abit write me if you need a chat xxxxxxxx
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