A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been living with a girl for about 6 mths. We are both in our late 40's. When we first met she use to wear costumes once and a while when we made love. It was fun. She never wears them anymore and says she is to fat and asks why I always bring it up. She said she would get rid of them and she has not. It bothers me that she has these costumes that she has worn for other partners but she has stopped wearing them for me. Should I just get over this or should I discuss it further with her? I care for her very much. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Ah, here is the delima, you like the costumes at first, but then you know she has worn them for other lovers before you and when she stopped wearing them for you, you suddenly feel like you are in competition with the past.
All quite petty and silly...if you love her forget about the other guys if you can....she was not born yesterday and she has a sexual history and a past as so do you....I bet yours is a lot more colorful and numerous than yours, just a guess....If the costumes do it for you, buy her a new one that only you two will share.....and go from there....in other words, get over it.....sex does not always need props.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): If this stuff is crucial to a long-standing fantasy of yours, then that explains why you bring it up, and I guess you need to discuss it further. But it could get ugly if she secretly resented the costumes before or if they're making her feel fat or silly now--you have to be verrrry patient and understanding to draw out her side of things. So if it's not crucial to your fantasy life, then you might try to find something else to focus on that spices things up. Good luck.
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