A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey all , i would like to ask for your advice about my problem. i really don't know who else i should ask .. well , i have a boyfriend who is younger than me. he's 2 years younger than my age now . now , i'm 17 years old .i love him very much .. i really love him! i never felt like this before with my ex. i used to cut off my relationship with my boyfriend if i think that i couldn't stand it anymore. but now, i'm really weak to say "we should break up" or something cause i do LOVE him ..but the thing is , he's very very possessive. he always gets jealous with all of my friends . actually i have so many friends , boys and girls ..he always gets jealous with my boyfriends whenever i go out with them. actually i go out with my girl friends also , but he doesnt trust me at all !i really sad i cant spend time with my friends just like used to do with them .even at a school event , he wouldnt allow me to join that event ! he always gives time for me to go home which is at 8 until 9 pm. but it's really unfair seeing he always goes home above 9 pm. so that i made a promise for both of us that we must go home at least at 9.30 pm. but today he just screwed it up . we always argue about something that will never end . we argue about our problems that we faced at the past and on that moment . i'm not a robot who can take their stupid opinion.he's very temperamental,emotional,and childish . he always gets mad whenever i'm angry with him because of his own MISTAKE! i feel like hell!my friends always ask me break it up . but i just cant say that words in front of him . because i cant stand how much i love him!nowadays,we always get fight everyday or maybe once every 2 days .. i cried so many nights .. cried till my eyes really got horrible !but he never realized what he has done to me .i'm really confused facing this problem ..what should i do without breaking it up ?i'll be waiting for yor reply ....thank you so much..
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (16 September 2008):
If you are not prepared to break up with him then why should he change? He has no reason to change.
You are weak enough now that he has actually given you a bed time to be in by!! As though he is a parent and you are the child!!
He will not change because his life is easier when you are too terrified to say anything to him. You'll do exactly what he wants and when he wants it.
If you chose to stay you chose to put up with this behaviour and be his slave. What happens if you stay out with your friends past 10pm? Is he going to punish you? hit you? Will you feel like you deserve it?
Your choice.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, truthfulteacher +, writes (16 September 2008):
Although some people are possessive naturally, generally it comes from a feeling of insecurity. This may be made worse by the fact that you are older and that your friends do not seem to be encouraging you to stay in this relationship. Try to understand why he feels this way and ask him what you need to do to reassure him that you love him and he has no reason to feel this way. Just talking about it will show him how much you want to fight for your relationship and hopefully will help him relax and enjoy having you to himself!
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