A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so me and my husband have been married for almost a year and a half and we have a 7 month old daughter. My husband just won't communicate with me and I don't know what else to do with out leaving. He always gives me an attitude about something and doesn't like my mother, we fight about her constantly he never wants to go there but we always have to go to his parents, he gets mad at me cause his family works odd and late hours so I won't take my daughter there at 11 at night so we only get to see his family once or twice a week on everyones day off but my daughter goes to my mom's on the weekends when she has off and him and his family get upset that my parents see her more than his. Than he throws a fit about my mother's dog about the hair, and complains when I make dinner, that either I make the same thing or when I try something new he doesn't like it and I don't make what he likes like his mom does, problem they are spanish I am white/italian I don't know how to make his spanish food and a couple times I've tried he didn't like it. Then he started a fight because my mom wants to buy us something but his parents can buy us whatver they want so why can't my mom? Just the simple case of he doesn't like my family but I have to like his and no matter what i feel or whatever problem we have we have to just sweep it under the rug like it's nothing, cause he doesn't like to talk about his feelings. I have to take care of him like I'm his mother. If he runs out of juice literally the container will sit on the counter for days to a week until I actually make it and the other night he actually had the kahunas to ask me to cut his food for him. Can you believe that????? How do I handle my husband? I've tried talking he didn't want to hear it, I've tried writing him a letter he threw it away I've tried completely freaking out on him and he worked with me for about a week and went back.......... Help please??????? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk well for starters he does love me but I think I have more love than he does, and personally I really don't know if he wants to be married or not some days he does and some he doesn't. And as for the whole food cutting I didn't do it and did tell him I am his wife not his mother and I will not cut his food he is 24 yrs old he is old enough to cut himself. As for marriage counseling I already know he won't do it, he thinks counselers are quacks and anybody that needs counseling is crazy. He doesn't nessaserally try to control me in all ways, like I don't HAVE to have the house cleaned cause I do have the baby, I am allowed to go to my family's and whever I want, but as for the food I do understand but it still kinda hurts and offends me, he does eat if it's good but it's not his spanish food that he is used to. And it really isn't a nightmare we do have good times and do get along it's just he won't communicate so when he is having a bad day he'll come home with an attitude and take it out on me for a min and when he is upset about something he doesn't come to me he holds it in and then will finally explode with it. I do love him with all my heart and I just want to make it work especially for my daughters sake....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2009): Sounds to me like there are some serious issues here hon.Does he love you? Does he actually want to be married?It sounds to me like he is treating you like a doormat and a goefer...and someone to just do for him...Cut up his food....I DONT THINK SO!!!Isnt it a shame that we women are so dammed vulnerable and trusting...Isnt it a pity that we dont see these "QUALITIES" in our chosen life partners...I really do feel for you Sweet, but unless he agrees to communicate with you and perhaps get some marriage counselling for both of you, dealing with your relationship and of course the in-laws situation, it is going to end...probably with you leaving... What attracted both of you to each other to start with? Good luck with it all...DONT BE HIS DOORMAT- STAND UP FOR YOURSELF....
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 November 2009):
This guy sounds like a nightmare! He doens't listen, he doesn't like your family and tries to control you, he tries to force you to take your baby daugher to visit his at weird hours, he moans about your food, he even gets you to cut his food for him! And to top it off, doens't listen one bit and threw your letter away. I don't know what else to say but leave. He just sounds like a nightmare to me.
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