A
female
age
41-50,
*ephisto
writes:Hi everyone,I have been with my partner a few years now. A while ago I found out he went away for a week with his ex (he told me he was visiting a relative but told his mates where he was really going). After confronting him, he reckoned it was innocent and tried to get over the lack of trust I had in him. Now I found out he's been 'for a drink' with the women he keeps telling me he wants an affair with. Do I confront him? What would you do? Thanks
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affair, his ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mephisto +, writes (19 February 2008):
Mephisto is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone, I guess I need a good kick up the butt! I confronted him and he denied it and that wanting an affair was a figure of speach?! Ho hum, thank you all again for your kind words xxx
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (19 February 2008):
 Hi,
I'm sorry to say but the fact that you accepted him back after you found out he went on holiday with his ex signalled to him that he can get away with anything.
You have to ask yourself what will it take to get you to end the relationship with a cheater. You have to find a way to leave him, there is no coming back from this, he now knows that you will put up with anything so what is to stop him from chasing after any girl that takes his fancy?
There are men out there who value a one on one relationship, you haven't got one. It is time for you to take control and start a new life, be conifdent and strong and you will meet a man who will respect you.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Unfortunately it screams out that he has cheated on you twice now?? Doesn't it?
Honey, when you in a relationship which is working, you don't lie about who you holiday with, you don't have a drink with a women and you don't talk about wanting to have an affair.
Do you confront him? Did he tell you about the drink, or what?
The only need for confronting him will really be if you want to continue the relationship. If this is not acceptable to you, and it wouldn't be to many partners, then decide if he is something worth keeping. He is not really showing you the type of committment you are expecting or requiring from him. This is what you decision needs to be based on. Does his behaviour work for you? Does he want to get with the program?
Probably after calling him a few sweet names, I would suggest that he gets his act together and decide if he is committed to this relationship, as you have places and things you want to do and need to know if he is just wasting your time!
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (18 February 2008):
 Hi
He goes off on holiday with his ex and lies to you about it, he's been out for a drink with someone he keeps telling you he wants an affair with? He Sounds like a good catch to me. I would marry him.
Sorry, its sarcastic mood for me today...
Do you confront him? Yes in my opinion.
What would I do? Move onto someone new.
Surely its a no brainer?
The guy is seriously trying to tell you he has no balls and wants you to dump him.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 I would ask myself if I could be happy long term with a man who isn't too troubled by lying or seeing other women.I would take a look at what I want in a relationship, then compare it with what currently exists. If there are things that I can do to make it better, I would try those. If there are things he needs to do to make it better, but he isn't willing to... hmmm....Some people are happy in 'open' relationships where each can pursue sex outside the primary bond. I don't know, what do you want? And can he provide that for you, honestly and openly?
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