A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Aunts, so I think I finally met a keeper.I met a cute, dorky, funny, mature, and out going guy on a dating site three weeks ago. He stated he's only looking for friends because he just moved to this town, lets call it A, for school. I moved to a town, lets called K, two months ago, from a town, lets call it H. A is like 1hr and 30mins away from where he lives. I currently don't have a car so that makes it difficult to hang out. We have just been chatting online,so we haven't met in person yet. I'm planning to move back to where I used to live before, which is 30mins away from him, and work there as my boss just told me he sold the company I work for,but that wont happen til the end of this month. I've shared with him some personal stuff about my life, and he seems to be understanding and comprehensive about them. He's super cute, and at first I thought he wasn't going to respond to my message when I sent a message to him on the dating site because I thought he was cocky, but to my surprise he did. Since we started talking, we hit it off, we chat almost everyday for an hour or two. I've sent him some pics of me, and he has sent me some pics of him. He says I'm cute and all, and he even confessed to me that he likes me. He knows that I like him as I have told him many times. But here's the problem, he got out of a two year relationship 2 months ago. He told me he fell out of love and that his ex was ignoring him. So I know he's not ready for a relationship, but how can we still keep talking without rushing anything?I don't find myself that attractive, but it seems like he does. He even told me he liked me because of my personality, and because I seemed to be a cute good guy, romantic, funny, outgoing...when I told him I thought he wasn't going to respond to me because I thought he wasn't going to find me attractive he said he cares more about a persons personality, and that if a guy is hot, but if he's cocky, he would walk way from him. I like he's personality, sense of humor, and pretty much everything I know about him so far. He doesn't swear, drink, smoke, or anything like that. so that's a plus!We might be meeting tomorrow for coffee and then going to a dance party to support a LGBT org I worked for and celebrate the National coming out day. The dance party is going to be at H-town, so we are planning to meet there (a friend of mine whos going with me to the party is driving me there. He's gonna be on his own when we get there, so Im gonna have time by myself to spend with this guy). A (some) really great friend(s) of mine want(s) to hang out when she (they) get(s) out of school, which will be sometime during the dance party. She (they) wants to go out and have dinner or something. I know fore sure I;ll be having out with one of my friends from H-town for sure, not sure about my other friend..So since I want this guy to feel comfortable, and that I'm not rushing or trying to pressure him to be in a relationship with me, and feel that we are hanging out as friend. I would love for him to meet my friend(s) after the dance party and hang out with us. But I dont know if this is a good idea...I would love to spend a day just with him, but that might lead on me saying stuff that might make him feel like Im pressuring him. And also, I havent been to H-town in a while, and don't know if I'll be back anytime before this months ends. So this is the only time I might get to see my friends from H-town during this month. I wont be in H-town tomorrow for a very long time, so it's either my friends, or him. So like I said our current plans are to go out for coffee, then head to the dance party. And then afterwards, if he feels comfortable with me, then go out with friends. I want him to feel like he's a friend, but an special friend to me, so that's why Id like him to hang out with me and my friends. I just guess my question (s) is (are): he has confessed he likes me, and he knows I like him too..now what? how do I go from here into the next level without rushing anything or making him feel pressured? Should I ditch my friends and hang out with him? Or should I hang out with him first like as is currently planned and if things seems to be going well, then hang out with friends with him being with us? I dont want to screw things up. so. that's why Im here to hear your opinions. Thanks for taking the time to read this long article.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2012): "so I think I finally met a keeper"You have no idea whether he's a keeper or not, after only three weeks he's still a virtual stranger, all you know now is he's given you no reason to weed him out (yet), and he has stated he's only looking for friends. "He stated he's only looking for friends because he just moved to this town,""how do I go from here into the next level without rushing anything or making him feel pressured?"Follow his lead, and let him take you to the next level. Since he has stated he's only looking for friends, that could be quite a while if it ever happens, which it may not, because he has stated he's only looking for friends."Should I ditch my friends and hang out with him? Or should I hang out with him first like as is currently planned and if things seems to be going well, then hang out with friends with him being with us?"Not your decisions to make. He has stated he's only looking for friends, so he may want to be friends with your friends. He has stated he's only looking for friends, so he may not want to hang out with you alone. He has stated he's only looking for friends, so he may be hoping you ditch your friends so he can hang out with them and not you. Follow his lead, and let him decide if things go well; if he decides things are going well, then let him decide if he wants to hang out with your friends. If he doesn't want to hang out with your friends but wants to hang out with you, then allocate separate hang times for your friends and him. If he doesn't want to hang out with you but wants to hang out with your friends, then he's just looking for friends exactly as he has stated.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with you Bondgirl...and you are right!..I guess I'm just too happy to have found someone who "says" he likes me. I kinda have given up on love. But oh well, I'm gonna follow through your advice. I have always told my friends to never ditch their friends for a guy because they might regret it later..Now I need to apply the same advice to me...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2012): Meet him first. See how that goes.
Do not "ditch" your friends. That will indicate that you are not reliable.
Spend time with him as planned. If things go well, then ask him to join you and your friends.
You have been acquainted with him for only 3 weeks. Take your time. Get to know him in person before making any plans.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (11 October 2012):
 Is this a trick post? If not, how in the world could you believe you have "found a keeper" after knowing some guy online for only 3 weeks? Are you kidding? You know nothing about him. You know only what he has told you. You can't know anyone in only 3 weeks time...sorry.
I can hardly believe this is serious. "Should I ditch my friends and hang out with him?" I would never ditch my friends for any guy I'd only known #1-Through the internet and not in real life and #2-For only three weeks.
If you like the guy so far, continue to get to know him and try to plan things with him, but don't ditch your friends. You'll regret it later.
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