A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some help! Please!I've been with this guy for almost a year now, and things are not good. Mainly not good for me, but for him, he still thinks we are perfect and there's nothing wrong with 'us'.But i just feel like i can't be with him anymore, however much i love him, its really not going to work.So what i need help with is, how do i go about dumping him? Letting him go? Whatever you want to call it.I want to do it in the nicest possible way. I know its going to hurt him, but obviously i don't want to hurt him. I just know he's going to take it really badly..So any suggestions would be really useful!Please!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 May 2010):
There is no easy way. That's the first thing you need to understand. He will be hurt whatever happens. Face that, and then you can do it. Do it in person, as that is the only real way to do it. You need to keep it short and calm, but also not too harsh. I think the best thing to do is to take him aside, tell him he's a nice guy but at this time you're just not ready for a relationship and that you think it's time to move on. He'll cry. He'll be upset. But that's just something that he will have to deal with. Make it short and calm. Then end contact as well. Don't leave him lingering around.
A
female
reader, Zanie  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Are you absolutely sure he isn't the right one? Sometimes we get scared? Sometimes we get bored? Sometimes we get hasty? Make sure you have thought out all the consequences before you burn bridges.If you are absolutely sure. I recommend waiting til he has a day off and sitting down with him. Explain that you think it would be best if you stop seeing each other. Continue to explain that you have been feeling uncertain of the relationship and have finally decided that this was the only solution. Explain that you care for him very much and that is why you feel that you cannot continue the relationship knowing how you feel. Undoubtly, there is no way to avoid hurting his feelings. If he has affection for you, then it is going to hurt. However, you have been considerate of his feelings by doing it on a day off where he has time to essentially "mourn" the loss of the relationship. You have considered his feelings but been true to your own. Avoid saying, the cliches, or using the word love. Saying I love you but I just cant be with you, is a contradiction to someone you are breaking up with. Just make it a clean break, but be respectful and caring. If he yells, dont yell, just tell him that you understand he is upset but this had to be done, and then just exit. Make the process speedy, if you live together, make sure you already have another option and move out quickly.
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