A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm attracted to a girl I work with and have seen her out of work socially a few times and we get along great, have a lot of fun and seem to genuinely enjoy each other's company. Anyway I've decided after a lot of deliberation that I'd like to at least try and make it more than a friendship with her. Now I'm really outgoing usually but as soon as my feelings get involved I just hit a barrier and literally can't push forwards which has held me back from relationships all my life. So I really want to ask her out as just the two of us as I think it could go somewhere and I've had a few opportunities to ask but I just haven't managed to get the courage up and just say it, it's absolutely pathetic and I'm pretty ashamed about it. The worst she could say is no but I can't take the plunge for some reason. Having a meaningful relationship is something I really long for but at the same time it scares me straight thinking about it... There's probably loads of deep-rooted psychological issues ingrained in me about relationships but all I really want to know is this: How do I get the courage to ask this coworker out on a date?
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (31 May 2013):
 work and pleasure dont mix find another girl one that wont end up being your boss
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2013): Courage is something you have to produce from within. We can advise you to go for it, but we can't stand behind you to give you a push.If you harbor too many anxieties, and lack self-confidence, you postpone your happiness. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Don't deny yourself love, companionship, and sex!Find the appropriate moment on a social occasion. Take a few deep breaths, repeat it in your head over and over.Then smile, and calmly ask her out. Then retreat to the nearest men's room to fist-pump in victory! Do it even if she says no. You got up the nerve to ask; that's still a victory.If you don't shake off this awkwardness you will remain lonely and socially crippled. You can't fall victim to your own inner-anxieties. She's a nice girl, and you have nothing to fear. You already get along great.I worry that the use of so many high-tech devices is turning young people into socially inept and civilly awkward creatures. Not by your own choosing, but the dependence on devises forces people to be less adept in interpersonal and interactive skills. Thus the simplest social interaction; such as asking for a date, becomes a laborious task ridden with angst. You become paralyzed with unfounded fear of rejection and embarrassment. "You have nothing to fear, but fear itself!"Now go boy, and ask her for a date!!!Please allow yourself this one opportunity and override your reluctance. With practice it becomes easier.Pretend I have my hand on your shoulder, urging you on!
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A
female
reader, babyzbird  +, writes (30 May 2013):
 The best way to get past your fear and ask her is to just ask her. As soon as your alone with her and she is in a friendly mood go for it. If you hesitate or say you'll do it next time it will never happen. Kinda like swimming...you'll never find out if you can swim if you dip your toe in. You have to jump in or you'll never find out.
Now having said that...it's really not a good idea to date your co-worker for many reasons. I'm sure if your boss found out she/he will not be impressed.
However, if you really want to ask her then there is nobody stopping you. You might end up regretting it though.
Good Luck!
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