A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm confused. My boyfriend of 8 months and I get along really well. I'm really attracted to him but I'm a little insecure! We talk about future holidays and even what our wedding will be like. He's told me (after a few drinks) how he really really loves me and sees me in his future many years from now. this was only a couple of weeks ago but he finds it hard to express his emotions...He has told me he loves me from five months into the relationship but this felt most heartfelt.About two years ago he was in a relationship with a girl who really broke his heart. My insecurities are that he's not quite over her yet even though he dated someone else in between for a year. Due to my insecurities I asked him to unfriend this old ex which he did so straight away. We are going to a party that she might be at in a couple of weeks. It was a Facebook invite and she has not yet responded... He has occasionally been checking it to see who is going, and sometimes her facebook page even though he isn't friends with her anymore. It's not all the time (that I know of) but I know he really wants me to go to this party and asked me straight away. Is he checking to see if she will be going? Is it because he's not over her? Should I be worrying that he occasionally checks her page? Her new profile pic is one that he was in but she has cropped him out of it. That's weird!! He says it is strange because she had updated her relationship status and then changed it to this old picture. Why would she use an old picture with him cropped out of it when she is with someone new? Maybe she realised that he unfriended her and did it our of spite?? I know I sound paranoid but I am! I'm worried that this (seemingly) amazing relationship is not how it should be. That he's not quite over her. He does look up other exes on Facebook out of curiosity and is open about it but he knows I'm insecure about her so why is he looking her up. I think he tries to hide it from me too so as not to hurt me... What do you all think??? PS I don't mind if he wants to make her jealous by showing her what she's missing out on! I'm better looking than her and nicer person... But you can't help how your heart feels... That's my main worry...
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2013): I think you're the one that needs to get over her and not him in all honesty OP.
It's facebook, I casually look up my exes from time to time, aswell as old friends I haven't seen in years and check their profiles too.
You're reading way too deeply into this. You too have looked up exes OP.
It's been 8 months. Does he still talk about her all the time (without you bringing her up)? Does he look sad when he speaks of her? Does he talk about how great she is or constantly bring up the great times they had etc.?
It doesn't sound like he does at all or you would have mentioned those things.
OP be careful here, something tells me you're looking for an issue that isn't there because you're afraid things are "too perfect".
There is nothing in what you say to suggest anything other than curiosity, and the fact that he knows things will be weird if she does show up and maybe he wants to mentally prepare for that.
With what you've told us, you really have no reason to worry and really are just making up a problem out of nowhere because you can't believe this can be this amazing.
well guess what OP it can. My current relationship has been nothing but "pinch me I must be dreaming" for 7 years now.
Relax and go with it until you have real evidence of something to worry about.
A
female
reader, angel91  +, writes (31 May 2013):
The only person who can tell you whether he is over her or not is your boyfriend himself - we can't answer that for you.
In regards to using the old picture - maybe she just likes that one of herself? You know what its like, you'll favour some pictures of yourself over others. You only know the original version because your boyfriend was in it. I wouldn't think too much into that.
Sit down an have a chat. Lay your cards on the table and tell him how you feel about it all. Maybe then you'll get the answers you're looking for
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