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male
age
41-50,
*imbo_jones
writes: My ex (24) broke it off with me (27) after 3 1/2 years together, mostly because we got stuck in a rut, and somewhere along the line I stopped doing things that made her get those butterflies and feel special (as can happen in any long relationship). I gave her her space, but never stopped loving her, and a year (and several women) later, I realize more than ever that she's the one for me. In our last conversation, I pointed out that while she doesn't feel the same about me as she did in the heyday of our relationship (the reason why she broke it off), she hasn't really even given me a chance to make her feel special and get those butterflies again. She seemed receptive, but conflicted about the idea of giving me that second chance. The thing is, the break up was very painful for both of us so there are still some negative feelings left over. How can we work past those to get to a point where there's room for those butterflies to come back? Saying "Let's wipe the slate clean and start over" sounds good, but in such an emotionally charged situation, I doubt it will never be completely clean. Thanks for the advice!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (14 March 2008):
 I think that yall should work it out. Mind you that it's up to both of you whether you want to be together again or not. Treat her special again, but don't try too hard, otherwise you might end up getting frustrated, feeling as if you are giving more than you are receiving.
A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (14 March 2008):
 If you both are sincere in your feelings, you'll work it out together. If not, it was never meant to be. It takes two to tango and the 'hayday' can come back (believe me) if you BOTH WORK AT IT. Give it a whirl!
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