A
female
age
41-50,
*ock chic
writes:Hi me and my ex has been split for 7 n half months. I left him due tks his drinking problems basically i just had enough of the lies and bein let down all time. We have a daughter together and i have started dating. Thing is i still care about my ex, and in my head i think i wish i could trust him and us all be happy together but i no that can't and won't happen! I have given him countless chances before and i no Il never truly trust him. I just need to no how do i get past caring for him? Its not like i can just forget him I have to see him regular for our daughter! Any advice would be great Ty xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, citadel  +, writes (18 June 2012):
Glad we are here for you, if you feel in the least unstable or needy, keep in touch, many of us have been through this.
Take special special care.
Feel ya..
A
female
reader, Rock chic +, writes (16 June 2012):
Rock chic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to say a massive thank you to all who replied! Seriously u don't no how much u have helped. I no i did the right thing i just hope one day my ex does too
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A
female
reader, citadel +, writes (15 June 2012):
Read the book "co-dependant no more"
Read it again.
than read it again.
You're doing a difficult and important thing for everyone.
You're the hero in your story here. Your life will shine as will your daughters. Congratulations on your new journey.
It's a rare thing, you've done a rare thing.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 June 2012):
 Some people will always hold a piece of you heart, whether you want them to or not. Since you two share a child he might be one of "those" people.
You need to realize that YOU did the right thing in leaving him. The right thing for YOU and the right thing for YOUR child.
You tried to make it work, but if he didn't put in an effort it just isn't going to work. One person can NOT make a relationship work all by herself, you know that, you tried many times.
So what is there left to do? Accept that he will always be part of your life, as your daughter's dad. That YOU deserve to be happy with someone and that HE (the ex) isn't that person for you. Keep the contact to a minimum, keep the conversations to the topic of your child. Regard him as HER dad and that is it. Don't get involved in his life, don't involve him in yours. If it doesn't pertain to your child, he doesn't need to know.
7 months may be too short for you to get to the point where you can "let him go", so allow yourself to mourn the relationship and then move on. There is no set amount of time that will make anyone stop caring. But there will come a point where you can look back and see that YOU did the right thing leaving him and that YOU are glad that you did. Allow yourself to love another.
Chin up.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (14 June 2012):
 The best way to get past this is to develop a relationship with someone new. You say that you are dating again, so that's a start. Your problem may be complicated because, sharing parenthood of your daughter, you will likely have to see your ex for all time. But if you are in love with a new man, it will be easier.
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