A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went out with a few friends the other night (even though i wasn't really in the mood as i've been pretty depressed lately and I'm on medication so I can't drink) and I met this group of guys who I sort of know, and got chatting to one of my friends older brothers who is just a few years older than me. I was so awkward and uncomfortable all night because I felt really out of it, and I made such a bad impression on him.. although he stuck with me all night. I apologised for being so boring, and want another shot with him to prove I'm actually really fun when I'm myself. I was so nervous at the end of the night i gave him a measly peck, I wish I'd kissed him.. I really liked him :( I want to get over my barriers I have around guys as I'm eighteen now and I need to get on with enjoying it! I find it difficult to communicate my feelings, and I've only ever lived with female influences as my Dad died when I was little. How do I over come this?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 November 2009):
Until then, focus entirely on yourself and getting better. You need to be very sure of yourself, and in a happy position before you can go looking for a man, because you might attract one that will hurt you (there are men who are controlling, and use women who are hurt or depressed because they are easier to control.) So give it time and focus on yourself. Maybe even text that guy and see what he's upto, because he may not think you're interestet. But do make sure you focus on yourself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): First of all I think it is good that you went out even though you were depressed, it helps to have company.
Second, this guy didn't think you were boring or he wouldn't have stuck with you all evening.
Third, if you gave him a peck that is just enough encouragement without making a fool of yourself.
You could ask the friend to find out whether her brother is interested in you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the very good advice - he did ask for my number and text me that night after i text him to say 'thanks for putting up with me' and he text back but never since. I don't blame him though and I'd love to get in touch with him but if he's not gotten in touch then surely that means he wasnt that interested? I need to get to know how to interact with men better especially, but need the confidence to do it.. which will come when this phase of the depression lifts. So until then what to do?!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 November 2009):
There are two things going on here. First of all, you are depressed, and that can have a terrible effect because naturally you won't feel great about yourself, you'll be feeling very vulnerable and I'm sure not all in the mood to be around people all the time. It isn't your fault, and you're not boring at all, because he stuck by you, which means he liked you a lot. So give yourself a break and realize that you really are a lot better than you realize.
Secondly, I am sorry for the death of your Dad, and I wonder if that is why you find it difficult to comminicate your feelings to men? You only really know how to act and speak to women, which can make it a bit more difficult for you. Men are different to talk to, and it can be difficult if you've had little contact. If you would like to speak to him again, offer him your number and see if he's interested. If he is, take your time getting to know him and explain that you're shy (you don't need to tell him any details until you feel ready or you want to). If he's a good guy, he'll understand. Give yourself time and see what happens. Good luck.
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