A
female
age
41-50,
*panishquerida
writes:I'm afraid this is another one of those insecurity questions that you must get plenty of...I've been in multiple relationships now and have tried my very hardest to be a good parter to them. It's just that I always seem to be hurt in the long run... the first person, who I was with for two years, cheated on me with two people and then cheated on someone with me because he told me he was single... And then my last partner, who I was with for five years, took me for granted and emotionally abused me until he left me for someone else... It's been a while now since these happened and I'm still really insecure about myself because of them. The thing is, I've now met a really great guy who I think can really make me happy. I'm just scared to let him in because of how much I've been hurt in the past and what these men did to me... Are there any tips or suggestions you can please give me to help me get over this and help let him in? Thank you so much. If there's anything else you need to know, don't hesitate to ask.
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cheated on me, insecure Reply to this Question
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female
reader, carenna  +, writes (4 September 2010):
 You need to learn about your past!!! I imagine that was really hard and you got really hurt, but you need to learn about it! and become a better person!! everything that happened made you stronger and let you know what do you want from a guy.
Give it a try with this new guy, get to know him and let him to get to know you, but be careful and beware about little signs, hopefully he will be great and some day, your heart will open by itself and you'll be ok
you need to heal, think about what you want, your needs and what do you expect from a partner and of course what are you willing to give.
A
female
reader, spanishquerida +, writes (3 September 2010):
spanishquerida is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your fast response! You're right... I think it's just so hard because of how insecure they made me feel, saying it was my fault and such... That's the hard bit. But you are right, and I do need to forget about the past. Thank you again.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (3 September 2010):
 Yes try not to fall in to the same trap as you were in before. Try to be confident and strong so the man doesnt take advantage of you. Also forget about the past and take on board what you have now. No one ever got anywhere with bringing the past into the present. Re invent yourself and take the bull by the horn and go for what YOU Want for a change. Good Luck Hope this helps
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