A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:help!!! i need help getting over my teacher....right well hes my music teacher and i have had a huge crush since he came my school 4 years ago. i know nothing can ever happen because hes my teacher and i am his pupil and hes 29 years old, i am not going to tell him how i feel or try to make anything happen because i know that its just a silly crush (that hopefully should pass).but i know i am going to miss him when i move to college, he such an amazing person. hes so funny and so kind. hes like the perfect guy for me, we have the same sense of humor and like the same bands. sometimes i think he likes me back, like when i went to the prom he kept on watching me (i dont wear dresses a lot), but then i come back to reality and realise that it will never happen. we have got really close over the past few months which make it harder to leave him.....so i just need some advice on how to get over him before i leave. thank you :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): have a long, FRIENDLY conversation with him about your fears of leaving highschool behind and that you will miss him so much, just see what he says and how he acts..he may miss you a lot too. I feel that after you graduate get in contact with him and ask him to go out for coffee or something. If your feelings are still there TELL him because at that point you never know until you try. good luck
A
female
reader, justme..x +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Hi :) I spent over a year struggling with feelings for one of my teachers. I won't go into any details, but I genuinely thought I wouldn't get over it. I didn't think I'd be able to come through it, and I had no idea how to move on. But I did. As I said it took a long time, but I did it, and I believe you can and will too :)As you've already read, there are small things you can do like writing and burning your feelings. Distract yourself by throwing yourself into hobbies and going out with friends, concentrate on the academic material of lessons rather than on him. For me, that didn't quite do the job. Perhaps it'll work better for you, I hope so :) But I tried all of that. And I still couldn't forget him. I tried every possible angle: being "friends" - chatting to him in and outside of lessons, smiling in corridors etc, showing him things I'd done at home. Focusing on my work. Ignoring him. Pretending he was another, very unfanciable, teacher. But two things actually made me get over him more or less entirely --1. Lack of contact.That prospect probably seems awful at the moment. And it did to me too. I remember sobbing after our last lesson (he said we were going to have a different teacher the following year). But not having him as a teacher was probably the key to getting over him. I could relax on days I had English; I wasn't afraid of asking my new english teacher a question. It was a relief not to over-analyze everythig my new teacher did. It was a relief to be myself, and get my priorities back. For a while I still went and chatted to him, but I stopped that too because it felt awkward - I was popping to see him for no reason, with nothing in particular to say; I had no classwork to pretend to ask him about. My school is biggish, and in fact I barely saw him in corridors. I avoided the English area. It was like I completely cut him off. You don't need to go that far - my situation was a little extreme, I got a bit messed up over him and wanted to block him out of my life - but just ease yourself off, don't chat to him as much. Write him a little card thanking him for everything, as someone suggested. Don't give any of your feelings of course, just thank him and tell him he's a great teacher or something. View this as your closure. 2. Meeting my boyfriend. Haha, this is a very "ideal world" scenario I know. But that was probably what tipped me; meeting someone else and discovering what proper love feels like - much healthier and happier! I'm not telling you to go look for a boyfriend. If you set out with that intention, you might pick up someone who isn't actually a great match for you, just because you want to find someone. (I fell into that trap and ended up with someone I hardly knew and didn't even want to be with...he quite rightly dumped me pretty quickly...but it was a rather humiliating experience!) So don't go searching, looking to catch someone. But talk to boys your own age. Get chatting, flirt a bit. It's likely you'll meet someone anyway since you're leaving school, so concentrate on that. I hope this helps and good luck!! x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): hello! I had the same thing happen to me, but it went a bit too far. My director used me and when I had no friends but him to talk to he took advantage of me. He made me think he loved me and was going to leave his wife, but of course once I graduated he did nothing. He took my virginity which is something I really regret. This happened almost 6 years ago and it still haunts me. I am married now with a beautiful daughter and still it haunts me. Do nothing about it. You need to distance yourself from him. My director ruined my dream of being a director myself. He was telling lies behind my back about how I was always around when he didn't want me to be yet he always asked me to be there. Do yourself a favor and dont let ANYTHING happen! trust me!! It will always haunt you...
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female
reader, lonelygirl11 +, writes (3 June 2011):
Im still in same suitation only i not seen my teacher in nearly 13yrs and dont get me wrong i know and ave always known nothin could ever happen but when he left school my feelings never went i am still broken hearted. Try your best to get over this and get involved with activities to occupy yourself. Thank him with a card just dont let you feelings get to the stage mine are at as its agony. Pm if you wanna talk
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A
female
reader, Claire1640 +, writes (2 June 2011):
Heey!
A year ago i was in the EXACT same position as you! I used to have a huge crush on my sociology teacher who just came to our school for the year to teach us. When he left, i honestly took it soooo hard! I was upset for weeks because i knew that i'd never see him again and it just really hurt me. I'm 16 aswell by the way:)
But, after about a month of him leaving i was fine! And i'd totally moved on to crushing on one of my neighbours(': I know it seems hard thinking that because you won't see him again, it'll just get worse and you'll be heartbroken, and i'm not gonna lie..for the first couple of weeks you will be! But after that, because you don't see them, you completely forget about them!!
It's been a year since my teacher left and truthully, he probably crosses my mind for a short second once a week, when it used to be almost every 10 minutes!
I promise you that you will get over him! Does he have facebook? because maybe once you've left you'll be aloud to add him? Then atleast you can keep saying Hey once in a while?
I'm not gonna be like everyone else and say 'go for someone your own age' because that used to annoy the hell outta me!! I seem to only fall for older men too:)
The day before you leave, maybe try and hug him and say goodybe and thank him for being such a nice teacher? :') I promise you, that in time you'll forget
Good luck! xxx
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female
reader, Jac2b55  +, writes (2 June 2011):
 Hey there,
i think that you are doing the right thing by not telling your teacher, even if he does like you in that way you would be putting him in a situation that could destroy his future career and reputation.
If it was me i would look at the qualities that i like in this man and look for them in guys that are really available.
If he does like you and is willing to jeopardise his career he would have come to you by now.
Good luck :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): Just tell youreself, that this is only for sometime then you will finish school and find someone you're age, someone who's fun.
And you have to leave school someday to make you're life. Its okay. Crushes are normal. Time will heal everything.
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