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female
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anonymous
writes: How do I get over what he did to me? I broke up with my fiance a month ago because he was very emotionally abusive. He hasn't been leaving me alone, and though I shouldn't have called him last night, I did because I'm sick of him harassing me on myspace. I yelled at him and got so mad for the way he treated me. He just sat there and said how much he loved me, and I cried and said that if he loved me he would have treated me a lot differently, with respect. What got me the most out of the phone call was the fact that he said he is waiting to have sex again until he is married. It got to me so badly because throughout our entire relationship I told him and tried to wait until marriage, but he made me feel so guilty and said that if I loved him I would sleep with him, and that if I didn't he said I must be cheating on him. So, my beliefs went out the door. I should be glad that he is saving himself for marriage, but why is it hurting me so bad? I don't understand how he could treat me like crap about that issue, and now just simply and matter of factly say he is waiting for marriage too! Unbelievable! It made me so mad that I kept calling and texting him wanting to talk about the issue and tell him how much it pissed me off. He just texted me and said he couldn't stop crying and that he was going to bed. I know I shouldn't have called and texted him, especially after the fact that I made it clear I want to forgive him but forget him and I hope he will do the same and stop contacting me. How could he do this to me? I feel like I am going to die of sadness and anger.
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broke up, emotionally abusive, fiance, my ex, myspace, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (27 November 2007):
 Remember forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, not does it mean they really deserve the forgiveneess. You forgive them in your heart to clear out the pain they caused you, so you can move on and be happy. You don't need to cary this hate with you, if you do, he's still affecting you even though he's no longer with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAfter he said all this to me I said I hated him and that I will never forgive him. And, that is the last time we talked, that night. I guess that's what is hard to get over, that the last words we spoke were so hurtful-but that was how I feel. And I know that even though I said those things I must (and truly want to) forgive him to move on and not hate him.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 November 2007):
He is such a manipulator. He got you when you were together trying to get you to compromise your wish of waiting, then when your apart, he's doing the same by "all of a sudden" seeing things the same way.
You should really be grateful that you two are no longer together. You mentioned you're sad and angry. Seek some professional help to get over it. And do it fast. You need to do this because once you are free from the pain and anger, only then will he no longer be under his control.
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