A
male
age
30-35,
*ndrew loves hali
writes:okay me and my girlfriend broke up. we break up a lot but i wont work this time around. and we both know it. we went out for 3 years and we didn't have a great relationship. but there were times when it was good. we've had our ups and downs but doesn't everyone? we broke up cause she smokes and drinks a lil to much and she smokes weed bty. and i couldn't accept her for who she was and the things she does. i blame myself for our break up and i think its all my fault. it is isn't it? if i could just handle those things everything would be okay. i cry all the time when i remember her. i'm dying without her. i don't see the point of living anymore. she was my life, my love, and my everything and now its all gone so whats the point? how do i get over her? or at least make myself feel better? I'm not trying to forget her or stop loving her but i just wanna know how to make things easier for myself. any ideas? all you help is appreciated.
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broke up, smokes Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (7 May 2009):
 That's fantastic!! congratulations! Do remember to take it slowly and build a friendship first so that you get to really know each other before you get serious and feelings are involved:)
Good luck hun..........things always work out in the end:)
XX
A
male
reader, andrew loves hali +, writes (7 May 2009):
andrew loves hali is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks plexi and i think i found that girl. now i just need to tell her. i guess it want hard getting over her because once you find someone new you forget all about it.
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A
female
reader, Plexi +, writes (6 May 2009):
THAT IS RIDICULOUS. THAT is not who she is!............those are her hobbies, which yes make her a drug addict and a possible alcoholic-------sexy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
as far as you told us you did not ask her to change anything physically...you wanted her to be healthy and stop using "substances"
she needs to grow up and you need to move on honey, there are nice, pretty smart girls out there who don't drink or use drugs.....( no not just church girls, regular good girls too:)
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A
male
reader, andrew loves hali +, writes (6 May 2009):
andrew loves hali is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe didnt change for me because she said and i quote " if you loved me you wouldnt want me to change and just love me for who i am."
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A
female
reader, Plexi +, writes (5 May 2009):
You did the right thing! you were true to yourself. we all have morals and values and you respected yourself enough to stand by your values. yes you love her but that does NOT mean that you should be ok with her drinking and doing drugs...........it would have ended eventually anyways, even if you did try to "put up with it" for a while.
It's still early thats why it hurts so bad, first of all give yourself time, go out with your friends, do things that take your mind off of her( read, take up a new hobby, etc)it will be ok trust me and you're gonna hate me saying this but you will find someone else that you will feel the same or more about.
Now, if she loved you back......why didn't she change for you? the things you couldn't accept about her endangered her health......it's not like you couldn't accept that she was too short or too fat or too blonde......understand? you were not superficial! IT WILL BE OK!!!!!!!!!!!!
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