A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so ive been with my boyfriend for about 18 months. we have a 6 week old daughter together. he has:called me every name you could imagine - slut, whore, bitch, skank.. etc.has compared me to his ex girlfriend stating how she was so much more better than me.compared my mum to his mum saying my mum is a fucking bitch and an idiot.has smashed my little brother's ps2 and laptop he got for his birthday.when i brought our daughter home from hospital, he was yelling at me and i told him if he didnt stop id ring the police and he put his fist in my face and said "are you sure u want to do that"he has told me he would dob me into child protection services and say i don't feed our daughter even though our doctor has told me to slow her feeding up now as she is gaining TOO much weight.told me if i broke up with him he would gauge my eyes out so id never see our daughter again.has told me he doesn't love me and doesn't care about me. i realise that i would be an idiot not to leave him but my problem is i don't know how.everytime i go to dump him he threatens me and i wouldnt put it past him to do something to me or my family because he has a court case at the moment because he kicked a woman in the head and snapped her nose. if i ring the police believe it or not, i'd be worried for the police because unless they used a gun on him i think he could take them out because he does mixed martial arts and fights like jet li. i live with my mum so i can't exactly move in with mum to let things cool down.. i feel nothing will stop him. i told him id get an protection order out against him and he said if i did that he would burn the house down with me in it.
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female
reader, cheery64  +, writes (16 October 2009):
please ignore the above post-he wont change or leave just because you are crying believe me lve been there. do as the guys say and get away before something bad happens and let us know how you are. take care
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (13 October 2009):
 Where and the hell did you find this guy? So, you live with your mom now... anywhere else that may be a safe place to go? And does he live there too? I think he's mistaken in his words. Is the ex better than you or better off than you because she's rid of him?
With his attacks on this other woman, I wouldn't doubt that he's capable of snapping and not all talk. I'm going to ask you first, what would you do to keep your daughter safe? I'm going to ask you to leave your comfort zone to be safe. The main thing, and do this right away, contact a domestic violence advocate, or victims advocate. They're aware of the resources in your area. This will be involving the court and police department, but keeping you safe at the same time. You might have to leave your moms with your daughter for a period of time and relocate to a shelter, or safe house. He won't be given any information on how to find you.
Its all about keeping you and your girl safe. Staying in this situation is not keeping anyone safe, because just seeing you treated like this she's not going to grow in a happy environment or experience positive growth as a child should.
Please update when you get out of there and are safe. Take care.
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A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (13 October 2009):
dissappear.make any arrangements you need to ahead of time. Have a letter to tho police ready to drop off at the police stations, both where you are and wherever you will go.put clothing and food away where you will be able to grab it on a moment's notice.Put aside any cash you can. Cash is both handy and not traceable.prepare anything and everything you can think of to make starting over easier. You will need to be gone until the police have him in custody and will for a long time. That can take quite awhile.When you are prepared, take your daughter and go. Do it when you will have several hours to yourself. Drop off a letter explaining the violence, the threats, and just how dangerous he is at the police station nearest your home. Then leave town. Go at least five or six hours worth of driving away, many towns. Try and get into a big, populated city, as they are both more able to offer support and services, and are easier to hide in. Bring the second copy of your letter to the police there, and ask for direction on where to find the support and services you will need until this cretan is behind bars for a long time.Believe me, with forwarning, the police won't have any problem taking one fighter into custody. I don't care if he stand's 6'11" tall and fights like Bruce Lee himself, twelve armored swat troops with gas, tazers, and clubs, and he's going down with a minimum of fuss.
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A
female
reader, Elephantlover +, writes (13 October 2009):
Speak to him, tell him you love him and cry. He'll feel bad and leave you and your daughter alone or he'll stop being a dick.
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