A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I’ve been feeling so shitty lately. I feel very inadequate in who I am and in everything I do. It’s like no matter what I do, No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be good enough. I'm not the smartest, the wittiest, the funniest, or the most attractive guy. I'm average on all counts. It's as if I'll never measure up whether it's in academics, in the workplace, or in relationships. In fact, no guy has ever taken interest in me and I just feel like crap because I'm this old and have never had a boyfriend. I just want to share my life with someone and actually experience what love really feels like. But I doubt that'll happen. I just see all these people around me, all these guys on campus and on the internet on social media: they're so perfect, they're lives are perfect, everything about them is perfect. And I just get an empty, sinking feeling in my stomach and just want to roll up in a ball and hibernate. This just further adds to my depression. How do I get out of this reoccurring slump?
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depressed, never had a boyfriend, the internet, workplace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, jc2008  +, writes (25 October 2014):
First off you're 18 so not old and I came out aged 19 and there are plenty of guys still in the closet who are a lot older than you. Your life is just beginning. Just because someone looks like their life is perfect doesn't mean that it is, they are just showing you what they want you to see.
Don't beat yourself up, go find a hobby like cycling or walking. Getting in a relationship won't make you instantly happy trust me.
A
female
reader, franny1297 +, writes (24 October 2014):
 Hey, i'm sorry about this, and i can relate. Let me begin with, there will be times in our lives when we won't feel good enough, no matter what we do, you have to accept that there will always be someone better than us in something. But the most important thing, is be the best you can be in everything that you do. The only thing holding you back is your lack of confidence. You do have the willpower to bring your face into the light, because everyone has a purpose to fulfil in this world.Guess what? im so 'average' just like you. But im amazing in my own way, just like you are too. You should discover yourself. Speaking of work, everyone has a unique way of doing their things and getting through their daily tasks. You are still young, amazing and full of life, why would you say that about yourself. Look around - no ones life is perfect, how do you know? what you know is only what these people show you, stop underestimating yourself. You can do anything, if you want to. Do what you want, don't give a shit what anyone thinks of you, build your confidence by going out, be friends with your co workers, and plan an evening out, stay with the people you love, live your life and stop waiting for someone else to fix it for you, because the only person that will ever make you happy, is you.So wake up tomorrow morning like it's a new day and a new you! re start everything, look in the mirror and realise that you are beautiful and you are you. Your confidence won't appear over night, but over a period of time, and each time you do something out of your comfort zone the happier you will feel. The more self esteem you have - the more tolerant you become to negativity. Saying yes means getting up and acting on your belief that you can create meaning and purpose in whatever life hands you.You can do this, because your worth it - otherwise i wouldn't have answered your question, you are not forgotten, be true, be you 3A wise 15yo girl xx
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (24 October 2014):
 The best way to 'reset' your mental status is via excercise. It might sound too simple to e true but if you get up and say, Jog to a park and back everyday or even every oth day. Or, ride a few miles a dayon a bike.your mental ll beig will side intoa new ode of opation. Join a gym, walk a long distance, run track. etc. etc. Just go do it and your outlook on life will perk up as your physical fitness bulds up. If that doesn't work try yoga. Good Luck
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