A
female
age
36-40,
*ovesick4link
writes:Ok so I am still married and we have a child together but we are not together. We moved and we had some problem before we moved so when we moved I left him because I thought we were over.he never wanted to talk to me just play his Xbox.So when we 1st got here he wanted to work things out in he always would tell me he loves me,he made me things and told me he would never stop loving me.I guess I was to thick headed to see what we had at the time so I moved on with my life. But now I miss him and love him I want to make it work for us and our child. I did make the mistake by Leaving him. So now it has been a year almost and now he has a girlfriend and she has her own kids. She told me they have been together for 5 months but he said its only been 3. We have been together for almost 6 years. He tells me that he loves me And will always care about me but he is not in love with me. I do not understand that. We are about to get a divorce and I don't want that now that I see how everythingshould be it feels like its going to kill me to break up our little family.What do I do I told him how I feel and I will do anything to make it work he does not want to try at all. I feel I am in his shoes now and I don't want to feel this way anymore I love him and our sonSo what do I do to fix this and show him I'm for real thus time??
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female
reader, milk and cookies +, writes (15 November 2010):
wow this is tough
i always believe in honesty.Talk to him sincerely and express you feelings. You are his wife after all. You can ask for couseling before divorce because you have children. Ask youself is you really want him or is it just that he has someone else? If it goes to divorce get alimony and child support.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): You cannot force him to love you. That he is getting a divorce, it sounds like he is interested in marrying his girlfriend. I hate to say it, but it sounds like it is already too late.
It sounds like you just missed each other, you were each interested in the relationship at different times, it didn't coincide.
You have told him how you feel, I think it is time now to find closure. It is going to be painful, but you will rise again after. He still loves you, you are not unlovable, don't kill your heart; simply he is committed to someone else now. You need to do the same, in time.
There is no one and only love for anyone, though it may be difficult you will find someone else. You also have your child to think about; love your child. Even with just the two of you, your family does not have to break up.
To try to force him to come back to you would be bad, to try to wait for him to come back to you will tear you up forever. Even if he came back, things would need to be built from the group up, just like anyone else.
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A
female
reader, tdntuck +, writes (15 November 2010):
 If he says he's not 'in' love with you anymore, then you should move on. Time heals all wounds. You cannot make someone fall in love with you. If you love someone, set them free. If they return, they're yours. If they don’t, they never were.
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