A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello guys. I need some advice on talking to my girlfriend about her weight. I will first start off by saying i DO lover her and i will NOT leave her over this because she is just too special to me. I do however, think that she is not eating healthy because ever since i met her she has gained weight. we have been together for about a year and when we met she was average size (if anything maybe a few pounds over) but now she is overweight. I might sound shallow but i wish she was the size she used to be. We are both in college but i live at home and i eat healthy so i am pretty much the same size i was a year ago, but she lives on her own (Her parents pay for everything) and she seems to eat fast food every single day. As far as her schedule, she has alot of free time but she just likes to pretty much watch television and relax.I dont know what to do. She has told me that she is unhappy about her weight and she wants to lose weight but she never does anything about it. I have never told her anything because i dont want to upset her but i dont know how to help her. it is frustrating that she is always complaining about her weight and constantly calls herself fat but she never does anything about it. And also as a reminder, she used to be thin, and she gained weight (about 35-45 pounds). Its not like she has always been a chubby girl and she is trying to lose weight.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (24 May 2012):
 Dude in my opinion youre wasting ur time. Only her can change herself. Tell her your advice and why you care and if she doesnt see it then leave her. Youre in your prime years my man bang the hot women lol. If she miraculously says ill try and lose weight get her on a thermogenic called cellucor c4. i cycle it. its amazing shit and will kick ur ass into the gym. my body is living proof that stuff can help someone transform.. and im not done yet bro, many more goals to reach. good luck.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 May 2012):
 Been there; done that.... Don't waste your time. YOU are going to spend your time and mental energy trying to figure out how YOU can help her lose weight.... when - in reality - only SHE can do it for herself......
After a while... whilest SHE is chiding YOU for HER not losing any weight... YOU will wake up, one day, and say: "How did I come to think that I could lose weight for HER??????".... and a light will go off in your head, and you will (finally) say: "That was sure pretty stupid of me..."
Then, you will tell her: "I thought that I could lose weight for you... but I can't... and I endured your telling me that I had an obligation to MAKE you lose weight... and THAT was stupid.... so I'm outta here..."
Sorry, but that is the facts, Sir.....
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 May 2012):
 My experience supports the other comments. Doing things with her is going to help the most. I know that at the same time of life I packed on a bunch of weight. her new freedom has encouraged her to make some unhealthy lifestyle changes. The sooner she makes better changes the better.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2012): Next time she says "I feel fat" or similar just say "well if you feel that way I will help you do something about it. Let's go cycling/jogging/swimming together and I will come grocery shopping with you so you have everything you need at home without having to eat out"
There is a chance she could say "oh you must think I'm fat if you are trying to help me so much" but a good reply is "I only want you to be happy, I love you no matter what but when you often say you think you're fat if getting healthy will make you happy then I really want to help you and to make it more fun I'll join you" Every woman I think has insecurities with her body so do not say anything about thinking she's gained a few pounds, if my partner told me even if it was true I would get quite down about something like that!
Once she starts getting active she has more of a reason to eat healthy. I have always found if I am attending gym classes and regularly exercising I have an incentive to eat well. No point going to the effort of working out if you're eating rubbish.
Overall it's something she's got to stick with but if you are able to set up regular times to meet and exercise with her she is more likely to stick with it. You could even play tennis or badminton together in an evening and it's better than sitting in doing nothing. You could ask your family if she could eat with you a couple of nights and she might pick up healthy habits from your family and their cooking.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, xAx  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 I suggest that you both work out together for example cycling or running and help motivate the other :)
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