A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've just had a nasty break up with an ex (he cheated). anyway over the years he has borrowed £1750 from me which is a hell of a lot of money. he's always said he'd pay it back, but never seemed to do so. i dont think he has realised how much its accumulated. anyway i obviously want this money back and have just sent him a text. thing is, i know he is totally skint, earns peanuts and is crap with money so its going to take a hell of a long time to get it back, and seeing as hes been reluctant/lazy about paying me back in the past i'm worried i'm going to have to constantly ask him. My heart is so broken now that i really dont want contact with him and i feel as though i'm going ten steps backwards everytime i have to contact him regarding this money. what would you do in this situation? i don't know whether to leave it and forget all about it just so that i can recover and not have to keep speaking to him or to continue asking. nobody else knows ive lent him money but i have proof of the transactions on my bank statements.
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female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (17 August 2012):
 Don't contact him because you will never get your money back. When you loan money out, you have to assume it is a donation. He especially is not going to pay you back after a nasty break-up. This is one of those life-lessons you just had the misfortune of learning. Don't loan out money to people because there is no guarantee you will get it back. Plus, I never thought my friends or boyfriend should need to ask me for money. If they need money, they can go get a job or two. Just consider it a lesson and move on. Plus, that way you don't have to contact him or see him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2012): Hi ms anonymous,
I two years ago had the same problem were my x did not return what he owed me. I have moan and groaned but his excuse is always (oh he has no money) or (oh he has a rubbish job) so eventually I had to 1: tell him I will get bailiffs on him as I had transaction proof like yourself or 2: you have to tell him you will bug n bug him even if it kills you as you have every right to collect the money he owes if he does not wish to settle the matter between you both you have no choice but to take legal action.
Eventually he should come to some agreement and if he does use the excuse he has no money or no job do not fall for it it's amazing how they have money to go out, drink, party but not to pay us what they owe. So chin up and I know he will give in.
Hope this helped.
Aunty smiley
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A
female
reader, starstrukkx3 +, writes (16 August 2012):
 I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting over this situation. Personally I don't think you should ever let to money go. I think it's great that you are being sympathetic towards his low wage. You could suggest that he pay it back in instalments. If his pay is really bad, this could just be anything from five pounds a week or a month, etc, to £20-50 a week/month. To put his mind at ease, you could assure him that you'll keep a book recording how much he's given you each week/month/etc, so that he doesn't feel he's being cheated into paying extra money, or whatever. I hope this works out for you. :-)
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