A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so my boyfriend lost trust in me because he told me something that I didn't know that he wanted me to keep it to myself, and yesterday was our two month anniversary. I told his sister something I thought that was cute and she told him and made it out like I was pissed about it. Sure he didn't break up with me, but if I can't get his trust back I will lose him, and I can't have that. So my question is how do I get his trust back? I apologized several times, and I have promised not to say anything about him or us around her nor anyone, and that I wouldn't do it again. He also told me that if I can figure out how to get his trust back it shouldn't take long to get it back. Because he doesn't trust me, he wont tell me anything, except I love you. so what can I do?
View related questions:
anniversary, I love you Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (27 July 2012):
 There are some serious red flags here. You say one thing off-putting to his sister and he threatens to leave? Yea, some control issues there. He seems insecure and easy to anger.
You have only been together for two months. Why are you so desperate for approval?
I have been in the situation where you've only been with someone a short amount of time but feel scared of them leaving. You are not in the wrong. Do you really want to be with someone who is so quick to snap and hold a grudge?
This is just my thoughts based om the limited descriptions here.
Best of luck to you.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 July 2012):
 I can understand beying put off by someone betraying his confidence, but you'd been dating less than two months. Surely he would not have shared something that intimate so soon. And his imperious 'if you can figure out how to win my trust back' bit is a red flag.
He is using some petty transgression to elicit special treatment or favours he knows he isn't entitled to.
You've already apologized, too many times I might add. All you've done is validate and reinforce his position. If he truly did not trust you he would have left.
Stop trying to make amends. Stop apologizing and treat this incident as no big deal because that is exactly what it is. If he brings it up again or even hints about it tell him if he thinks trust has been broken then there is no future for the two of you and you'll have to move on. Leave it at that.
He's trying to trick you into doing all the giving in what is supposed to be a give and take relationship.
...............................
|
