A
male
age
30-35,
*ushroomcello
writes:Hi! i need some help. i am in highschool and i love my friend. we have been friends for about a year though we don't talk too much. we are both in the closest. he is gay, please just believe me when i say that hes gay. after about 4 months of knowing him I (like an idiot) sent him a message on facebook saying i like him. he didn't reply. but we are still friends and still have been flirting. i want to know how i can get him to just tell me alone how he feels so we can start a relationship wether anyone knows or just us. i know i need to spend more time with him but its a little awkward because of a little bit of tension in the air. i dont know what to do. i think hell think im asking him out on a date if i ask to hang out. i dont know what to do to get him to feel comfortable and tell me how he feels. HELP :/
View related questions:
facebook, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, mushroomcello +, writes (21 December 2010):
mushroomcello is verified as being by the original poster of the questionif he likes me, i'd guess he'd come to me. but he probably wouldn't even if he does because he doesn't know i wont tell anyone he likes me but i cant tell him that i wouldn't because he'd get nervous about taking about it. you know? what a problem..
A
male
reader, steph007  +, writes (21 December 2010):
Your friend might be gay, who knows, but even then he is free to make his own decision on that when and with who he wants to open a love affair. I mean something more than the friendship. You know, not all gays are falling for all the other gays. Unfortunately, this is the same among heteros.
...............................
A
male
reader, mushroomcello +, writes (21 December 2010):
mushroomcello is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much. I wanted to add he feels uncomfortable hanging out with me because he thinks im openly gay and told people i like him. How do you think i can let him no thats wrong?
...............................
A
female
reader, annakat  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 If he's still in the closet he might be uncomfortable admitting his feelings to you because then he would also be admitting to himself that he's gay. As long as the two of you are just flirting it can still be rationalized as just being fun between friends and that he isn't really gay. It might be hard getting him to be alone with you but maybe you could just try something casual. If you're hanging out with a group try going off by yourself to 'go get something' and ask if he minds coming with you. Or maybe you could meet up after school or something like that. Tell him how you feel about him and be patient with his response.
But if you do decide to talk to him, be prepared to have things not go as you expect. I came out to my friends and a few months later told my best friend of 3 years that I had been in love with her for 2 years. I knew that she was straight, but I felt that I had to tell her. It ended up ruining our friendship and we haven't spoken much since. I'm still in the closet (mostly because I can't admit to myself my true sexuality, which might be how your friend is feeling), but a few of my close friends know. No matter what happens, try to be understanding of him and his feelings. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out ok.
...............................
A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (21 December 2010):
 If you guys are friends, it wouldn't hurt for you to ask him to hang out with you. Just to friends being friends. That way, you guys can be around each other more often and the awkward tension between you two may be uplifted.
But sooner or later, you're gonna have to sit him down and have a heart to heart conversation with him. Sincerely tell him exactly how you feel, and without any pressure, show him that you're there for him and that he should trust and be totally at ease around you. Ask him how he feels, and if all goes well...why not ask him out?
good luck -A.E
...............................
|
