A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this young lady for 3 or 4 months that I have started to have feelings for. But the problem that I am currently having with her is for the past month and a half or so, she constantly accuses me of cheating EVERY WEEK!! This only happens when we are talking over the phone! whenever we go on a date or just chill at her place, everything seems to be all good. If I dont answer or return her phone call in a timely manner, she assumes that Im somewhere that I shouldnt be. Even when I clock out from a long day of work she wants me to call her RIGHT then and not a moment later. If not I get the riot act soon after. She knows that my shifts vary and there some days I get off rather late. Its like she doesnt understand that sometimes I am just tired after a long day or just want some alone time occasionally. Like I said, I do care about her but this is starting to get on my last nerve. Please try and help me understand this woman! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): I have some experience with this with my partner. She is a wonderful woman and I love her dearly. I would never do anything to hurt her but she often starts to worry about me going off with other women.
Because i love her so much and I think she feels the same about me I am very patient and try to talk about in a calm way. I dont think she is as bad as this woman sounds but the theme is the same.
She has been treated badly in the past and is very inscure with low self esteme but most would see her as a fun outgoing, confident and attractive woman.
It isn't easy and it is frustrating but I am committed to her and thats it. If you feel the same way about this woman then look to some sites that are based on dealing with jealous partners and try thinks. You also need to talk to her in a calm way and point out how you feel about this and wether she thinks her thoughts are rational. you will probably find she knows it is not rational but can't help it. its a start and it gets better.
Of course if all you want is a short term sex based relationship get rid of her and find someone who is less high maintenance emotionally.
:)
A
female
reader, FireAndIce  +, writes (5 November 2009):
Women like this give the rest of us a bad name. She's a bit of a basketcase isn't she.
There's nothing to understand...she's insecure and controlling. And unfortunately I don't think things are gonna get any better. You've only been dating for 3/4 months, you've given her no reason for insecurity and she's behaving like a psychopath. Youre supposed to be in the fun, exciting stage of the relationship and she's already starting to show the cracks. Can you imagine what it's going to be one year down the line.
Just give her an ultimatum: Tell her to ease up and trust you or you're walking away.
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (5 November 2009):
 The only way to stop this is a) forget about her and move on... or b) take her everywhere with you 24/7.. even when you goto the bathroom and take a shower...
You can try to talk to her about it, but short of having her goto therapy, I don't think there is much you can do because she'll just put that back at you as you are cheating and trying to hide it. There are probably some nagging things in her past whether it be from her parents or in her previous relationships that is making her seem a bit illogical and unreasonable about this.
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