A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so theres this girl that i have liked for a while. We used to get in arguments over stupid things but then we became friends. we have been friends for a while now. i will wave at her and smile when i walk by her in the hallways at school and she always smiles back. On the day i asked her out for the first time, she said she just got a boyfriend that day. i told her to hit me up when she was single and she said she would. later that month she was single, but she said she wanted to stay single for a while. its been two weeks and she acts like she likes me. i thought about giving her a mixtape i made (had song lyrics and a drawing folded/wrapped around it) but i dont know if thats a good idea. but the bottom line is: how do i get her to go out with me? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Shadow_Phathom_of_the_Opera +, writes (20 September 2010):
 RE: @PuzzleSovler:
I wouldn't send out the mix tape too soon. If you give it right away, you may scare her off, and will NEVER GET her.
It's always better to get to know a girl first before randomly sending gifts. I've lost 2 friends PERMANENTLY this way.
A
male
reader, Shadow_Phathom_of_the_Opera +, writes (18 September 2010):
How often do you talk to her? You need to gain her trust as a friend, before she can love you more than a friend.
I'm going to start from step one though... which chances are, you are ahead of me. lol.
First off, just talk to her. Start with simple "Hi ____" ... (Replace ____ with her actual name). Then, just do that for a week. From that, if she says hi back, then yes she likes you. Do this for a week. Even more so if she says "Hi (your name here)." If she just waves... well, keep saying hi, and if she doesn't do anything more after a week other than smile and wave, give up for now. Try again wit her, like, 6 months from now. If she doesn't even respond, and completely ignores you, then it's time to pack up, and move on.
You'll need at least a "Hi" back to go onto step two.
Second, then say hi, Ask her how she's doing, then end it with a bye. This is usually an easy step. ask her how she's doing for about 4 days, and then, move onto step 3.
Third, just talk about the weather outside... and then the weather of the next few days when you say hi next time. Just talk about the current news going on... and if you learn about what she likes from her friends, perhaps, then talk about that. Short, yet sweet conversations should be the best bet at this point. Don't drag into anything too long. This'll take about a week as well.
Fourth, now, start going into a long conversation. Talk about many things. At this rate, she has some trust in you, but not so much to date you just yet. Just talk about music, to family, to movies, tv, etc. A Law of Psychology says a woman will associate things that she likes to the person who talks about it, as well as dislikes. Don't fake something you are not... 99.9% of women hate men who do that, and will lose interest in you, faster than when constipated wiener dog running around in circles, realizes it's not feeling good. This will take the longest out of all the steps, anywhere from 2 weeks, to a month.
Fifth, this is where you can finally ask her out.. BUT, don't call it a date, or she'll deter away from you. Ask in the exact quote: "You want to hang out with me (on this date) (at this Location)? Just for fun." If she says no, go back to step 4 one last time, and wait about a month before asking again. If yes, you've won half the battle... but beware, there are girls who WILL BACK OUT on you, so be prepared to accept fate, step four again, or give her a reason to come there. Also be ready to accept if she rejects that, and just say, "okay, then tell me when you are free sometime within the next week?" A girl who is only wanting you as a friend will usually reply as: "Well, I don't know when I am free." and is silent after that.
~On that "hangout", be a Gentleman, and hold the door for her. If you are not sure where to go, then going shopping at a mall, movies, bowling, or if you want to get really cute, go ice-skating/roller-blading... but I don't really recommend dinner. Always mind your manners. If you are at the movies, buy her ticket for her, and anything she wants to drink/eat. If you go to take her shopping, tell her (Example), she can only spend $20-$50 of your money. If you are eating something, avoid burping. If your nose drips, don't use your arm to wipe it off. Just basic manners mean everything to her, to figure out what you are as a guy. ALL WOMEN, WANT A MAN WHO IS CHIVALROUS/GENTLEMAN. Yes, I said, ALL WOMEN! With all humor implied, men, sadly, are the slaves to women, and understand, that women, will always come first. you come LAST! Vice versa if a woman really likes you in return... but always put her first! When the "hangout" is over, then ask her as it's ending "you want to do something fun with me again?" You'll know if she says yes, then you treated her perfectly. Repeat what you have done, be a gentleman, do anything she likes to do, and then, drop the word "You want to go on a date with me?"
I'm hoping you can do it. Just remember, be a gentleman, be yourself (never fake), and treat her like she is a religion. To do something wrong, is to sell your soul to ****, so to speak. Just keep doing what you are already doing, and perhaps, you can give the mix-tape earlier.
All I can say, is save the mix-tape for Christmas if you can't get her to date you, but to hang out. However, if her birthday is sooner, give to her then. It's better to get to know someone first before giving a gift. It's possible you could scare her off from you if you do that too soon.
I swear though, with my bad luck I had in the past, the gifts I did have, are sitting in my closet, and waiting for me to throw them away, or sell them on ebay. Somehow, I wondered why I was infatuated by them, and still keep $100 worth of gifts kept in my closet as a sentimental value gift to myself, as memories of the past. However, if you have the same thing I do with my closet, you'll have to get rid of them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010): If she just broke up with him two weeks ago, she might feel she needs some time to get over him. I know you're afraid she'll get away again, now that she's single, but giving her some time to get over her last boyfriend will really help the situation, and she'll see that you're taking her feelings into consideration. For now, go ahead and give her the mixed tape, and send her signals to let her know how much you care about her, and she'll take your feelings into consideration in return. I hope it works out for you.
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