A
male
age
41-50,
*abears
writes:I'm 25 and I'm in love with my best friend.we have dated in highschool n broke up when she went to college.we been friends for 10yrs.she is always touchy feely w me.we started having sex a few months ago and bout 2 weeks ago she said she just wants to be friends.she says she loves me as a friend nothin more.she still is touchy w me n wants sex.she has been confused bout us the whole time.she says its never going to be a easy answer between us. How can I get her to be my girlfriend?
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female
reader, pastfirst +, writes (5 January 2009):
 She seems really mixed up.
Sit her down and discuss the situation with her. Put all your cards on the table. Tell her what you want and ask her what she wants.
If she wants you as her boyfriend, well and good. Take it from there.
If she wants you as a friend, STOP the sex! It's just making you frustrated as the emotional aspect is yours alone! Don't let her use you!
A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (5 January 2009):
 My first sex partner was my best girl friend not love gf. I was 15 she was just a friend. well its been 15 years now and we are still good mates we call each other and keep in contact a lot. She's now married with fam and kids. im mates with the husband so he's cool with us being friends - though there is no connection there anymore and to be honest im glad we are just friends its a really rare thing to have with a lady many people take it for granted these days.
If you really really want her you just have to tell her thats what you want. just be honest with her. Your best mates, so she'll understand this ive been in your situation. she probably already does love you now but sometimes its best to just live the life together as a couple and pretend that you are already together it will all fall into place if your that close to each other.
Id also be inclined to give her some space so she comes to you, id kind of do something with another girl and make sure she knows it might just make her realize what she losing, but play that one cool it could backfire on you.
Otherwise you will have to be prepared to eventually let her go.
sometimes friends is much better - it just takes a few people to help you realize how much better than being her lover really is because you will be there through every lover, breakup, and everything, its kind of like your her Forrest Gump - and thats super rare.
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A
male
reader, succinadeum  +, writes (5 January 2009):
It all depends on the psychology of the girl. You know her better than anyone who´s going to answer on the internet. One thing is for sure, girls are alot more inconsistant than guys when it comes to emotional stability. If I was in your shoes, I would take a very firm position, let her know that I want to be her boyfriend and nothing else but don´t force her into the relationship or she might run. If she isn´t ready then wait and remain the perfect gentlemen (you can use the spair time for self improvement that will make you more attractive). Don´t have sex or let her be kinky with you unless she´s prepared to be your girlfriend. It´s all or nothing.
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A
female
reader, Blackjack57 +, writes (5 January 2009):
If you want to loose a friend, having sex with them is the best way. From what you have written it sounds as if she is using you for sex only. It has to be one or the other. Leave the sex out and go from there. Without the sex maybe she can make up her mind one way or the other. Play hard to get, do not be at her beck and booty-call. You should respect yourself more than that. Sorry.
l
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