A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well I messed up pretty good last night and need some advice. I've been with my gf for 7 months. I love her with all my heart. When we're together there's no where else I would rather be or with. I went out last night with some buds and got absolutely hammered. Bunch of ppl at the bar. Was talking to a girl I somewhat know. Lil while later I went outside looking for my buddy and that girl was outside smoking. Said something talked for a lil bit and somehow we started kissing. . Lasted about 5 seconds or so And I stopped and realized what I had just done. I've never felt so terrible in my life. And couldn't believe what I did. I was highly intoxicated but I know that's no excuse. I felt so terrible and guilty. I told my gf right after it happened and texted her. I love this girl more than anything. And I've never cheated or anything like that. I'm the exact opposite. Shes been cheated on before (sex) so its really bad on her. She is pretty hurt by the whole thing and says she would never let that happen and I lost all her trust. I've told her how sorry I am and stupid it was and she means everything to me. She knows I love her. But she says it's up to me to figure out how I'm going to fix it? So I'm wondering what I do from here? How do I show her she's everything to me and this will never happen again?? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks
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female
reader, Martinizum +, writes (8 May 2012):
You have to do what it takes no matter how annoying it will b ..meaning if she ?s u show her your phone be open an honest frim hete on out an maybe stop going out all the time or when u do dont drink that much if thats what happens..yes she may mot trust..totally normal..but like I said she asks you any ? Or her suspisions get the best of her comfort her show her etc..that shes wrong..an in time you will regain her trust but it takes a long time espec..since its happen to her before..good luck,,
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2012): Here isnt a quick fix for this, even years down the line she could have doubts about what you're doing etc... Just because of this one stupid kiss! I agree your saving grace is that you have told her immediately. Perhaps you could write down your apology and that you told her because you didn't want to lie to her as you love her so much etc... and give it to her. Your actions will speak louder than words, next time your buddies ask you out why not leave the drinking or invite her along too because she is definately going to worry.
I know she's said its up to you to fix this but maybe you could ask her how to make things better? If she's not going to say I would just let her know you are desperate to be forgiven and plan things for you to do as a couple like visit places she likes (even better if it's somewhere she already knows you really don't like but are making the effort for her).
I think if I were her though I would feel so humiliated that you'd cheated, because you have done by kissing another women. You were out with your lads and they probably all know, she probably won't want to ever face them because they will know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2012): It's likely over time to move on you can try to apologize but the ball is in her court she more than likely will move on. Lesson learned for you sorry.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (7 May 2012):
 Apologise x 10000,00000, 000 times
Other than that, not much you can do to *fix* it.
Your gf says her trust in you has broken, so she will always have her doubts in whatever you say. Be prepared for that.
She may want you to work hard at earning her trust again.
Or she may choose to forgive or forget you.
Ultimately the ball is in her court, because she is the one who has been hurt here.
Of course it was good you told her what had happened; hopefully this may be your saving grace.
Tell her you told her the truth because you do genuinely love her and did not want to lie.
Be prepared it may take her time. Assure her you love her.
Goodluck
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