A
female
age
26-29,
*Tzimisce.
writes:Afew months ago there was a personal trainer who kept looking at me and watching me from afar; I'd look over to him and he never smiled nor turned away. It was quite intimidating so I looked away and didn't pay too much attention. His actually pretty good looking and got really good vibes from him ... like the kind you get when you know you will get along with them. Anyway he did say hi and how are you and I said good really quietly and got so embarrassed, super shy and didn't even look at him! Gave off the wrong impression in total and now I want to redeem myself but don't know how... Before he use to pay attention to me (looking, staring etc.) and use to see him all the time in the morning but now it's the opposite. Last time I seen him he was with a client and didn't even look at me, however I get the feeling he watches me when I do see him.Now I know what might some of you will say: "His only one guy, move on!". Two reasons: (1) His one of many guys who I've ever got this feeling from, I feel like he will accept me for the true me and (2) I always give off a bad first impression and want to learn how to 'fix' a bad impression. I rarely see him now, he won't even look at me .. I don't know what to do! Help
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 December 2017):
 Just say hi to him next time you walk by, without stopping, and without doing anything special. Just a quick hi when passing by. Maybe a smile. Nothing big. It'll get things started again. Because the ball is on your side of the field now, that's why he's backed off. He's waiting for you to make a move to show interest, or else it'd be very unprofessional of him to be chatting up clients at the gym. So he said hi first, now it's your turn. That's how the game is played. You're young, so you're not used to this I guess. That is why you think he backed off because of a bad first impression, but really, come on. All you said was "fine", how can that make or break an impression? He's waiting for you to make a move now, that's what's going on. All you have to do is say hi, nothing more.
You don't need to strike up a conversation, that's his part. He said hi, you say hi, then HE will make a move again. And if he doesn't, then just leave it at that. Don't take it to heart if he doesn't make a move again, because it doesn't mean there is anything you did wrong at all. Just sometimes people like to flirt without any other intentions, and then they naturally lose interest over time. Doesn't mean they ever wanted more. But make your move, say hi, and you will find out if he only wanted to flirt, or if he wants more.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 December 2017):
 It's OK to take your time. It actually gives you opportunity to get to know him.
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A
female
reader, .Tzimisce. +, writes (28 December 2017):
.Tzimisce. is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI 100% agree with you; old fashion dating still works and was going to let him chase me. Yeah I was wondering whether he just wanted me for a client but he kept staring at me and most personal trainers dont do that. He seems friendly and talkactive to everyone else but me. But I guess your right, saying hi and smiling should work. It will take so much time
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 December 2017):
Well, one piece of advice I want to give is... chasing Personal trainers... is rarely a good idea. Most of them are by nature flirtatious and friendly. It's part of the job. So while he might have liked what he saw (you) and look at you, it doesn't mean he is interested in anything serious.
BUT if you want to get to know him, start simply by saying hi to him. (in passing) And you can even add a little smile.
However, DO NOT chase a guy. Make him see you are interested and then let him do the work ( Yeah, I know it sounds old fashioned but it works).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2017): Just talk to him and smile. Guys are really REALLY easy to fall into good graces with.
On a personal note, I don't recommend dating a personal trainer. They are extremely flirty and are constantly touching other women throughout the day claiming it's to "better" their form.
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