A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been through a bit of a messy break-up in the last 6 months. Naturally I turned to my mum for advice/someone to cry to. I've told her a lot of the problems me and my bf had been having, and how he'd been treating me. As far as she's concerned, he was never right for me in the first place and I'm better off without him.However, she doesn't really know the whole story. When we first broke up back in September I told her everything, and cried a lot. Then a couple of weeks later me and my bf briefly tried to get back together again, but it just wasn't working. I never told my mum about that because I knew she wouldn't approve.So me and my bf took some more time apart, then for the last month we've been chatting and he really wants to be with me again. We've both been back home for Christmas so haven't seen much of each other since he said he wanted to try again, and I'm treading carefully as I want it to work but I know what's happened in the past, but I do believe we're worth working on.I'm now in the situation where I'm going to have to tell people soon about what's happening, I've kept it to myself for over a month now. My bf wants to meet up next week (we both live about 4 hours away from each other but go to college together so see each other over term time and try and meet up when we can over the holidays) and I don't know how I'm supposed to explain to my mum that I'm seeing him again.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 January 2018):
 You say it was a messy break up, would you like to give us more details? The thing is your mum will hold on to the things that you told her about your boyfriend and she won't forget so if I am being honest it will be hard for her to accept him back in to your life if she knows he has treated you badly. There is a reason the relationship broke down the first time and are you sure that issue has been resolved now? If she doesn't know the whole story then sit down with her over a cup of tea and tell her everything that has been happening.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 December 2017):
 Firstly, never get back together with an ex. There is a reason you broke up, and as long as that reason is still there, you will break up again. Second, dont go tell people all about troubles in a relationship, simply because of this. They will, of course, hate the person after all the negative things you have said about them. So you can not expect them to ever like this person. So this relationship is twice doomed now. Not being negative, just realistic. Tell your mother any which way, it will not make a difference. She will never approve or like him and he will never be welcome at her house.
If you want this to work, I suggest you and your boyfriend sort out your issues before you announce to everyone that you are back together. You don't have to tell people anything about getting back with him, it's your private matter. So don't feel like you must say anything to your mom or anyone else. Just keep it to yourself and see if the relationship issues are actually fixed, or if you will just end up breaking up again. In which case it would just be embarrassing to have announced a reconciliation, only to announce a second break up just a few months later.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2017): You'll need to find her during a quiet time, tell her you need to talk and that it's important. Think it all over first, don't just spit rhymes on the spot. Explain to her you've been thinking about your past, over the months you spent working on yourself you grew to better understand what you want and that you feel you'll regret not trying this out.
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