A
female
age
,
*emgeek
writes:How can I find a good, emotionally strong man for a shoulder to cry on, hold me, listen, etc? I'm 5oish woman in southern California, USA. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (1 January 2010):
 Positive qualities bring positive attention from positive people!
Love yourself, show confidence, strength, joy, optimism, and others will look at these things as attractive and want to share this feel good vibe with you.
Be a misery guts, attention seeking (and I don't meant that in a critical way) emotionally insecure, down and out, sad lost soul, and people are gunna run a mile if they don't get to know you for all your good attributes first. It is just a negative energy that will not attract positivity to you. You may attract tho (as CG) mentioned - a slime ball.
Coming across as 'needy' makes you a target for this type of undesirable!
If you cant just yet LIVE on the positive side, ...you can at least LIE on the positive side. Hopefully you will get so good at putting on a positive front, that one day, you might wake up and realize that without noticing it, somewhere along the line you started to actually live that lie and really did become that positive person. I hope you do!
Always expect the highest and best for yourself and don't settle for anything less!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 December 2009):
Shania is right. Take it from a guy that the most terrifying thing in a woman is a lack of confidence. Men aren't all that great with emotions, and we have enough of our own to worry about. You will find guys who'll listen, and who will care for you, but before you can meet those you must be independent and confident for yourself. Remember, good guys are attracted to women who are in control of their own lives. Only the slimeballs are attracted to underconfident women because they can be controlled and treated badly. Focus on yourself, take up a new hobby where other men are and be happy for yourself. Then Mr Right will find you. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (31 December 2009):
 Good question...but i will let you into a secret..men are far more interested in an independant woman who has a mind of her own...isn't too needy, has self confidence and a good sense of humour...so if you like yourself..then other people will too.If your just looking for a man to sit with you and listen to all your problems, they will run for the hills,at the beginning of any relationship most men like it to be fun...have a laugh,taking it nice and slow with no emotional baggage...its only when you get to know the person more that you can be more open with him.But if you come across as being too serious..too head on it will scare most fellas off.Now where do i find these lovely men you ask?.....well maybe if you started a new hobby...where you can meet new people....join a sports club...have you tried the dating sites?
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A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (31 December 2009):
My dear lady, if this were a question that could be answered so simply as for the asking, the number of relational problems in the world wouldn't be so great as to necessitate things like DearCupid.com!
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