A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have never been so frustrated with life before. I don't even know where to start! I'm so sick of failing at life, but I am so frustrated because I feel helpless. I would like to change my life and be a successful person, but I feel powerless to change it. I've been feeling like I'm destined to fail at life, no matter how hard I try. I feel like all of my efforts are in vain and that nothing I do has any effect.To be blunt, my life sucks right now. I feel like a failure and a loser and I want to change my life. I just feel powerless. I live in a town I despise, work at a job I despise, and get paid nickels and dimes. All my hopes and dreams are out of reach. Many of my friends are married and I would like to have a boyfriend but I can't seem to find anyone who loves me back. It makes me jealous to see so many of my friends enjoying success, and lucrative jobs, and I feel like a loser. It's humiliating and scary, the fact that I live with my mom just adds to my sense of failure. I want to live independently. It's making me crazy that I have all these hopes and dreams, and they seem to be a million miles away. It's making me crazy that my one precious life is going to be over some day, and when I'm old and dying, I'll look back and say ,"It passed me by and I failed to realize my dreams."The thing is it's making me crazy that I have all these hopes and dreams, and they seem to be a million miles away. I want so badly for my dreams to come true. I have longed for a horse for literally my entire life. I don't mean that it would be nice to have one. As a kid I was so obsessed with horses that I became depressed because my parents couldn't get riding lessons for me. Every time I see other people with horses that sadness opens up like an old wound and just starts hurting again. It was my dream to own a horse, and it doesn't look like my dream is every going to come true.I want to have hopes and dreams but it just seems delusional at this point in life... I mean I get paid nickels and dimes at my crappy job and my dreams of traveling and owning a horse just sound like some delusional acid trip on another planet. I'm sick of being a failure and want to be a successful person but I try and try and my efforts seem so fruitless. I'm a college graduate, and I worked my way through college and paid my own tuition. I'm certified to teach English as a foreign language. Instead, I'm sub teaching for nickels and dimes. I would like to move abroad and start a new life. I'm eligible to go teach in Asia or Mexico (or I've thought about teaching illegally in Spain)but that means buying a plane ticket out of the country, and on my crappy salary I can barely even pay my bills.I feel that life isn't worth living unless you have hopes, and dreams. I'm not suicidal; I wouldn't kill myself, but I'm just sick and tired of putting up with life, and struggling just to survive. I don't want to just put up with life. I want to have hopes, and dreams. I'm grateful for my health, loved ones, and other things, and I know I should be. However, I don't want to just put up with this poverty situation forever. My life sucks, and I don't want to be complacent. I want to do something about it. I hate, hate, hate my life. It sucks. I'm so sick of being a failure, and I want to change it and have hopes and dreams. I don't want to just put up with a job and a life I hate. I feel trapped. is there any escaping this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntieGeorgia  +, writes (18 January 2010):
 Ok So ...
The First thing I suggest you do is blank out all of your problems and concentrate on all the good things (e.g. your loved ones) because there is always someone worse of than yourself, and the more you forget about the bad things the less frustrated you may become and gradually will begin to feel more happy in your self.
Then one by one you can sort out your problems, I would suggest that you start with the job, maybe one that payes more or atleast one that you enjoy!
And put away a certain percentage of your paycheque each month/week however reguarly you get payed, but make sure you still have enough to get by!
Then you can maybe get a house, perhaps one with a big garden so that one day you can get horse you've always dreamed of!
It may take a while but there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and nickels and dimes always add up!
And there is a perfect partner out there for everyone, they may take a while to find but when you find them they will make you happier than you've ever been before.
The only person holding you back from your dreams is yourself, it will be hard work but all you need to do is have a little faith and self belief and surrounding yourself by loving supportive people aways helps!
Your never alone and dont forget that! I hope this has been helpful, as it is only my first answer!
Good luck x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): I feel your pain. I have no college education. So, I look at your future, and I can see the possibilities....You could apply for jobs anywhere that your teaching credentials are valid, you could get a response from someone that is willing to foot the travel expenses. It's worth a try, and in the mean time you should feel a little better. You would be taking hold of your future instead of boxing it up and setting it in the closet. Take time for yourself, slow walks in the fresh air. Really give yourself time to think positively. When you get in the doldrums, you have to recognize the signs and snap yourself out of it as soon as you can. The snowball effect of your thinking is is keeping you depressed.Give it a try, if you get a response from someone not willing to pay for travel, at least you have found out that you are wanted elsewhere. Feeling hope for your future is possible even if you decide to not accept a position. You have to knock on some doors if you want someone to open it....Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 January 2010):
Well this is now your moment to start over. It can be really hard to pick yourself up when you feel so down. Last year I lost my job and was falling into a rut. Now I've set up my own business. I think you need to focus on one thing at a time, rather than a million things. And I think the first thing you need to do is change your career, because that seems to be getting you down the most. Is there any way you could get a grant to go and teach abroad? Or a small loan?
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