Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, babygirllovej  +, writes (24 November 2011):
 Good! Keep up with the no contact! Your doing great! :D Just keep being strong and soon this will be all over with!
Do you have a pet or any friends you can focus most of your attention to?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 November 2011):
 this is the only way I can think to explain it...
when we train dogs to stop doing a behavior we don't want they will at first do it... but then they get snarky...and they start doing the behavior more and more and more... this is called an extinction burst... it means that the end of the bad behavior is coming but we have to keep reinforcing the good behavior we want and IGNORE the bad stuff.
so that EVERY time you answer the door or pick up the phone when she shows up or contacts you, you feed the negative behavior you don't want.... you have to totally IGNORE her that means like Aunt Honesty said:
DO NOT ANSWER THE DOOR WHEN SHE SHOWS UP
DO NOT TAKE HER CALLS..LET IT GO TO VOICE MAIL IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY BLOCKED HER NUMBER.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 November 2011):
 If she lands at your door again don't answer it, just ignore it, if she threatening you then call the police, just do not let her in or communicate with her. Because if you do she will not give up because she knows that she is winning.
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (23 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe advise is helping me i can't help it if she comes here the last time she done that i told her not to come here any more an that was a day in a half ago i have not made any contact with her at all even thought i pick up the phone to call her at least a few times a day but I never went through with it
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (23 November 2011):
Well the posts on here are obviously not helping you no matter how much you try to pretend that they are. You have been advised to break contact with her and you are still talking to her, you are under her thumb again without realising it. Soon she will be controlling and abusing you again, and you are allowing it to happen, because you are being emotionally black mailed by her. You need to be strong and see right through her she is trying to guilt trip you back in to a relationship with her and it is working. If you do not break ALL contact with her well then you are going to be back at square one. You need to listen to the advice you are getting, we are all only trying to help you, but you need to follow it in order to help yourself.
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (23 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving 2nd nothing has changed she came over an told me she has might have breast cancer an ask me to go with her for her appointment we had talked about are relationship an she again said she wanted a real relationship an she wanted to spend time together an she will be over I told her right now is not the time I am hurting it's been 18 hours since we talked but all your notes are helping me Thanks Again
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2011):
of course you think of if she misses you.. and of course she is hurting... change hurts and it's scary.
so tell me what parts of the relationship is she missing...the parts where she uses and abuses you? the parts where she emotionally and physically hurts you?
the parts where she sucks your feelings dry?
write a list of all the bad things
write a list of all the good things
compare them...
She misses her punching bag (you)
be strong.
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (21 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI should no be thinking this but I am wondering if she miss me or hurting like I am an does she think about me the way I do
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2011):
do not let her in when she shows up
do not take her calls
DO NOT FEED her emotionally with ANY CONTACT.
in this case for your sanity you need to go NO CONTACT...
it sucks for a while but it will get better faster if you do it that way.
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (21 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am really sick an having a hard time leaving her I keep reading what everyone posted to give me surpport she just came over last night for a few minutes saying she was coming right back she wanted to prove how much shed loved me last night but I am glad she never did come over she just keeps showing up at ramdon she came over at noon an was a wreck i told her to settle down an relaxed she said she was fighting with her parents an her x than she ask me to do her a favor an i said no since we are not together an i accused her of cheating on me an questioning her about some of her lies i caught her in she left wthout answsering an said i am not with you anymore lose my number i haven't heard from her since, my 1 friend who i talk to told me it's better to be alone than in a relationship that's 1 way
why an I so thick an can't get it through my head oh well i am going to try to get some sleep
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A
male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (20 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyone I could not get much sleep last night wondering about her she came here to use the bathroom an she said she was coming back to spend the night an have good sex that stressed me out, you see she don't have her baby this weekend she she likes to party an have sex i am kind of glad she did not come but than I started to wonder where she was an who she was with if she was with anyone at all I guess it's a blessing but right now I am so depressed an feeling guilli
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (20 November 2011):
Am sorry but I really think that you are making the wrong choice here, she is not good for you, no matter what you say to try and convince yourself she is not, who knows she might be lying about all this to get you back. Do not be a fool any more, step away from her, stay strong or else you will be the one that will end up more damaged.
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (19 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhere's a update she called me on her sons phone saying her kid who is 1 years old got sick an she's at the hospital with him she said she is really stressed out an sorry she took it out on me an the fact I don't want to be with her is making her sick she wants to sit down an have a long talk she is going to open up to me an hope that we could get back together i ask her if there was someone else she said no I think after we talk she now wants to move in with me but I will tell her we could be friends an take things slow I do know that all the medical problems an medicine do affect her I am going to take things 1 day at I time an not make a commitment
Thanks everyone
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 November 2011):
YOU are not lonely or worthless nor are you aloneshe is being manipulative.continue to be strong...
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female
reader, babygirllovej +, writes (17 November 2011):
I'm so sorry to hear she is causing you all this grief. I understand a little bit of what you are going through. My ex was horrible to me. He was abusive physically and mentally. When I finally had the courage to leave him he didn't leave me alone for months. He called the police and tried to frame me. He claimed I did things and tried to get me in jail. I didn't go back to him though. I had reported him to the police and was very honest with them. I gave them every e-mail and text he sent me and I NEVER contacted him. The police were very helpful and understanding. Now I am with an amazing boyfriend who treats me like a princess. I never felt so spoiled and loved before. Don't let her get to you. Save every text and e-mail. Go to the police if she contacts you. AND DO NOT CONTACT HER!!I understand it's stressful. I didn't sleep well for a long time. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me. Good Luck!
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (17 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did get the advice of the police an I did block her 2 numbers she did text about 30x to take her back that she does loves me an how she wants to talk with me I know she has a lot of medical issues an she is a weak emotionally now she added she has breast cancer an that why she is acting the way she did if that true i feel really bad for not being there for her but my gut feeling is she is lyeing right now I feel so lonley an worthless I did so much for this person an i love her so much it's killing me but I keep reading all the answers an it gives me strenght but I am tired of all the verbal abused as I type this I am crying an feeling sorry for my self thanks for your support
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (16 November 2011):
Seriously all she is doing is making empty threats to you, because she believes she can scare you in to getting back with her. You need to seriously ignore this woman she is dangerous. You need to phone up your telephone service and block her number from your phone, change your number if you have to. You need to not respond to her or else this will NEVER go away.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 November 2011):
IGNORE HER! YOU IGNORE HER totally
block her number from your phone
do not be alone.. be at work
be with friends or family that will give you an alibi should this crazy woman actually try to get you in trouble.
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (16 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI made a mistake she text me appolizating she ask me to call her so i did like the fool i am it took ten minutes for her to blow up now she treaten to call the police on me she said she will put marks on her face an tell the police i did it what do i do now
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (16 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyour response is so right on thank you
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 November 2011):
change is hard. leaving someone even someone that is mean and cruel leaves you really alone and it's scary. continue to be strong
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 November 2011):
you want to be done with her so don't answer the phone... let her be done and sleep with someone else...
be strong... we are here for you!
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (16 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhere is a update I got my car back we hung out at the house for a little bit than onthe way home she went crazy in the car punching the dash slaming the glove box she just snap she wanted me to rent her a car ( she was paying for it) because she has meeting she has to go to she accused me of calling her mom I denied it than last night she try to call me i had her block but she text me an called me names a low life an fat pig an hope that I rot in hell than 2 texts later she said rent me a car an she will forgive me I just ignored the texts right now it's 9 am here an i am lonley but i was lonley anyway in the relationship because it was all about her an her only any how I put so much into this relationship an got nothing back i sound like a baby but i am crying right now I got to go but thank everyone I can't beleave how much everyone has help me
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (16 November 2011):
Find the strength within you. Yes it is hard to ignore someone that you love, but remember that you are doing it for the RIGHT reasons. She sounds manipulative and unstable. She is using empty threats now because she does not know any other way to control you any more because you are finally standing up to her. You are doing well, just keep on ignoring her, she is a vile and nasty person. Once you start to feel better and more confident well then get yourself back out there and meet new people.
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (16 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just got the car she is texting me calling me all kind of names than she is telling me if I dont answer the phone we are done that she will sleep with someone tonite i only hope that GOD gives me the strenght to stick to my guns it will be hard because she has so many serious problems in her life
i have to thank everyone who advised me because i am alone an have no one I could talk too
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (15 November 2011):
I understand that it will be hard, but look at the way she is treating you, you are unwell and she still does not care. Tell her mother to inform her that if she does not return your car you will report it stolen. Don't mess around this needs to be sorted. As soon as she returns it you need to finish it with her and get her out of your life.
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (15 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni just want to update nothing has changed she won't return my car i had a doctor appointment an she never show up i end up calling her mom she said she will help but the girl is not answering the phone once i get my car i am done but it will be hard
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male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (15 November 2011):
 don't feel inadequate for not being able to shove off on your own. a lot of us blokes are like that. women are usually the ones that initiate a breakup but if they're getting what they want they wont. it's starts off hard but gets easier as you go along. i bet you will wonder why you took so long to sort it out once you get out there. sure there are some lonely moments but you should try and get a few mates in place to lean on. go for it you'll never look back after the first few weeks.
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (15 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionall of your responses is so right on i just have to suck it up an just do it
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (15 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno i have no idea what the threat when she gets mad she says alot of thing she don't even know what she said is she dont have a key to my house she wanted to sleep with me tonite but i told her i was sick that i just want to take her home she said to get me mad she would have 1 of her guy friends to hang out with to get me jealous i am not saying anything tonite tomorrow i will end it with her saying that i am under to much stress i need time to get better
i do thank all of u for your import i never was the one to break up a relationship
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male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (15 November 2011):
 The threat the last time you broke up is worrisome. Do you have any idea what she meant? Think through what she could do to make you 'sorry' first and prepare defenses as necessary.
Does she have a key to your home? Make sure you change the locks. Coordinate that with the day you retrieve your car and drop her off.
Plan this all out ahead of time so that when you drop her off and tell her you're done there are no loose ends, you never have to see her again, and she has no valid reason to contact you. Then stick to your guns and eliminate her from your life. If necessary get a restraining order.
Good luck.
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male
reader, sad sack 1 +, writes (15 November 2011):
sad sack 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou are so right i can't believe i put up with this i ratter be alone than deal with her but i am so lonely an all alone i sit here an feel sorry for my self
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female
reader, infactuaded +, writes (14 November 2011):
Tell her that you're don't being a doormat and that you need to focus on yourself and not deal with her DramA.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2011): well first of all i think you need to tell her that you're definently not a doormat and you're through with her trying to make you one.That you need to take the time and care for yourself instead of sealing with her drama.
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (14 November 2011):
She is controlling you and you know it. You just need to remain strong. Tell her you are sick of letting her use you and you are finished, tell her your mind is made up and not to contact you again, don't listen to anything she has to say just end it and be done with it. If she tries to contact you ignore her. Off course it is hard when you love her, but she does not love you and she is using your love against you. Which is horrible. She is not a nice person and you just need to find the strength within you to get rid of her.
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female
reader, babygirllovej +, writes (14 November 2011):
I'm sorry to hear you are in this situation. The best thing to do is tell her your relationship with her is over. Show no emotion and if she threatens you then report it to the police. Cut all ties with her and tell her to stop contacting you. If she tries to contact you then you will have to report it to the police. It's the only way for her to leave you alone.
Good Luck!
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female
reader, infactuaded +, writes (14 November 2011):
Tell her that you're done being a doormat and right now you need to focus on your health and not her drama ,Basically you're better off by yourself.
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