A
male
age
30-35,
*ash
writes:I have a problem with an ex of mine. For four years me and an ex have been the best friends(that isn't to say that our relationship wasn't rocky, in fact it was extrememly rocky. But we were still best friends.) A little while ago we were talking and she just turned around and said that I cannot talk to her anymore, and that I must get rid of her MSN addy and Email address.(both of which I have done.) She has said the reason for this is she wants to move on and she can't with me in her life. The problem is me, she had a problem with self harming and was close to committing suicide a while ago, and so I sat up with her a lot of the night talking to her until she was ok, I have always been her rock and now because we don't talk to each other I'm worried that she may think about suicide again and I know that if that happens, that I being the only one who could help(maybe there are others but I don't think so) I will not be able to help her. I am getting more and more worried each day and upsetting my lady friend because I am breaking down because of it. How do I either get her to allow me back into her friendship or forget her? I find it hard because I still have very strong feelings for her, not a feeling of love though.
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male
reader, nash +, writes (13 February 2009):
nash is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks every1 much appreciated
A
female
reader, Hermione  +, writes (11 February 2009):
Her behaviour isn't your fault. If she feels like she can't move on with you in her life then you should respect this. Especially since you don't know all the circumstances, for example, I'm sure that her new guy would hate hearing about you still trying to be there (budging your way back into her life as he would see it). Maybe she's found someone else ready to be there for her. Or maybe she's confronted some of these issues herself. Either way, this isn't your responsibility anymore. It's admirable that you want to be there for her, but BOTH of you need to move on, not just her.
You'll find a new woman who will be happy to have that kind of loyalty to depend on.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): she is probab, probably upset that she cant get what she wants. but dhe does appreciate what you told her. dw about it. she just wants more attetion from you, cause of she didnt, and she realy wanted to get over you she wouldnt have sent an angry email.
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A
male
reader, nash +, writes (10 February 2009):
nash is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyep, let her know I'd be there for her no matter what, and well she sent an angry email.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): what happened? did you talk to her?
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A
male
reader, nash +, writes (9 February 2009):
nash is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh well just got completely blown off now. thanks anyway
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A
male
reader, nash +, writes (8 February 2009):
nash is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for the advice, I still would like others to post with advice too.
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A
male
reader, nash +, writes (8 February 2009):
nash is verified as being by the original poster of the questionforgot to add she had already moved on finding a bloke before I could even think of moving on and she soon got engaged to him after that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Ok,first-If anything happens (knock on wood) be aware that YOU COULD HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING about it. If she does such a low act of ending the most precious thing, then tust me, there is nothing you can do to stop her thinking that way. What you can do is recommend her to see a psychologist. tht will help alot. or to talk to somone who is an exprt in these things, go to self helping groups etc etc. if you see, that things for her are becoming to a state where she can't take it anymore, tell her parents. trust me, its a bummer, but they are the ones taht can help the most.second- its more than understandable that she wants you out of her life. now, what you have to explain to her is just what you told us. how you know her more than anything and that you will always care about her. If she wants space, give her. but bare in mind she will be coming and seeking for your attention a few weeks later.but do talk to her, and explain to her the situation. stop hanging out so much, and don't talk to her. but let her know that if she needs a friend she can ALWAYS count on you. assure her of that because she is insecure.
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