A
female
age
30-35,
*ampyricHybrid
writes: My boyfriend and I have now been together for a year and half. He was a virgin whenever we first got together. At first, he loved giving me oral sex and always tried to last and please me first. Lately, he never wants to do anything sexual unless I give him a handjob or blowjob first, and he never does anything for me. He never even attempts to please me. And, he doesn't last as long as he use too. He use to last for an hour or more. And, now he only lasts about five minutes, if that. And, after he's done, he just kind of ignores me. No matter how much I beg him to finish me off. I'm sexually frusterated and I really don't know what to do about it. I'm open to any tips or ideas.
View related questions:
blow-job, hand-job, oral sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, VampyricHybrid +, writes (8 February 2009):
VampyricHybrid is verified as being by the original poster of the question I've talked to him and asked him about counseling, we've tried it. And, the person we talked to was also an old buddy of his. His friend agreed with me and he didn't like it. I've talked to him and asked him how he would like it if I did it to him. He threw a tantrum and said it wouldn't be fair. He's not exactly being fair to me. I think I'm going to put him through a few weeks of torture. I know it isn't right, and I hate to do that to him. Seeing I know how it feels, but it's not like he responds to anything else. But, I'm tired of feeling horrible about myself and frusterated with my sex life. -Thank you. =)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Hi, I posted the first reply. Good heavens, over a year? That really isn't right. And how come he gets to control you giving yourself pleasure? That's crazy. And impossible. And even if it wasn't (it is) giving yourself a simple pleasure is really quite different to signing up to an inhuman and exploitative industry like the porn industry. As I'm sure you know. I presume you asked him not to watch porn? It sounds like he resents this and is punishing you. The issue is not that you can give yourself release, you can but it's not a solution. It doesn't sound like you can or should carry on like this. If he won't discuss it, and you can't get a loving reaction from him, then he is using this to control and punish you. And this is not making love. So you're not lovers. In fact, you are free. Have you thought about moving on, or are you really determined to get through this? Would he agree to go to a counsellor? I think he needs to know how serious this is - have you tried asking him to imagine how he would feel if the situation was reversed?best of luck, because you sound like an intelligent, warm, passionate person who deserves the same back.
...............................
A
female
reader, VampyricHybrid +, writes (8 February 2009):
VampyricHybrid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI love it but I always end up being frusterated. I usually end up crying because he ignores me afterwards. He thinks I shouldn't "pleasure" myself because he doesn't get to watch porn. I have talked to him about it, he just kind of shrugs and puts it off. Well if he's been stressed or worried, he has been at it for a year. Attention for what exactly?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): What are you feeling when you are making love? What are both of you feeling? Sexual frustration is awful, but there is always masturbation, and emotional neglect is worse. Have you tried talking to him about this when you're not in bed together? I think it would be quite sensible, especially as you can truthfully say how much he used to make you feel loved and needed. Perhaps he is under stressed or worried about something else? I think he is asking for attention?
...............................
|
