A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I'm going to try and keep this simple. There's a guy who works in the shop across from me, and he's more than a little obsessed with me. It really freaks me out so I just tend to run away! But now he's taken to coming to the club I go to every wednesday, and 2 weeks ago, I was out, like always, and I ran into my ex, who has been really nasty to me lately because he says I'm not good enough and he can't have a conversation with me blahblahblah, but I think it's just because he got what he wanted and is now done with me. But anyway, the stalker guy was talking to me for a few mins, and I was nic and polite, and then said I had to go. Later in the night I found out that my ex had been warning him, and any other guy I was talking to, to stay away from me. And I dont know what he thinks he's doing! He's made it clear that he's not interested, so I wish he'd just stay away!But now I have to go to this party tomorrow night at a mutual friend's house, and he's 99% likely to be there, and I dont know how to act or anything. So..what should I do?
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male
reader, Music Man  +, writes (4 April 2008):
From my perspective he sounds like a guy who wants the best of both worlds. Guys often try to put women on hold in various ways, usually because we want a guilt free excuse to pursue other women. I'm guilty of this myself. He may realize he really is into you but may be more concerned with his image then being real. Does he have his own entourage of guys to impress? Why not stoke his ego a bit, a little flirting is a good way to take down a guys defenses. You don't have to get back with him but he'll know you don't hate him and I'm sure he'll be nicer. You could fight him at every turn but it's your choice.
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